00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, I'm afraid an EFF has escaped our custody |
00:04 - 00:05 | around here, South of DigiCert |
00:05 - 00:07 | Last seen heading |
00:08 - 00:12 | towards the redneck city of Santaquin |
00:12 - 00:15 | We have reason to believe it is headed to Brad's house |
00:17 - 00:19 | Surely, you setup a perimeter |
00:19 - 00:21 | Nothing can get past our defenses |
00:24 - 00:26 | Sir, the guards... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Were distracted... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Watching stupid memes on Imgur |
00:34 - 00:36 | Specifically "Coffin Dance" |
00:53 - 00:58 | If any of you are guilty of browsing Imgur, Reddit, or Tenor, leave now |
01:13 - 01:15 | You have got to be sh*tting me! |
01:15 - 01:17 | Goddam it, how did this happen?! |
01:18 - 01:23 | An EFF escaped because of Coffin Dance? |
01:25 - 01:28 | Sh*t! It doesn't even have a good song! |
01:29 - 01:31 | "Astronomia" is trash!!! |
01:31 - 01:34 | Do you have any idea what you've done?!!! |
01:34 - 01:37 | If that EFF reaches Brad, I'll be ruined! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Brad cannot begin to give EFFs!!! |
01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, Brad is highly resistant to giving EFFs |
01:42 - 01:46 | Shut up you imbecile! Nobody is immune to EFFs |
01:46 - 01:48 | But Sir, it's Brad |
01:48 - 01:52 | Don't you understand you stupid dipsh*t?!! |
01:53 - 01:54 | All DigiCert has to do |
01:56 - 01:57 | is make him a DigiStar! |
01:57 - 02:00 | Then he starts caring, starts taking calls |
02:00 - 02:03 | Starts providing 6 star service in a 5 star world! |
02:04 - 02:08 | I bought stock in Comodo, or Sectigo, whatever the f**k it's called |
02:08 - 02:13 | If he gets any more 5 star reviews, I'm going to be f**cked |
02:14 - 02:16 | My fortune will go down the toilet |
02:17 - 02:21 | Besides that, I had other plans with Brad!!! |
02:27 - 02:29 | He was researching how to be incarnated |
02:30 - 02:34 | As... Godzilla, King of Monsters |
02:34 - 02:36 | World domination was mine |
02:41 - 02:42 | I'm so pissed right now! |
02:43 - 02:47 | You don't even know how pissed I am!!! |
02:48 - 02:53 | His first action as Godzilla was going to be to wipe out the middle east |
02:54 - 02:56 | Then he was going to annihilate |
02:56 - 02:59 | those who call in demanding their private key! |
03:00 - 03:02 | Who wants a pfx when they don't have a private key |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, the private key can be regenerated |
03:14 - 03:16 | I'm ruined, I'm going to lose everything |
03:19 - 03:23 | Hopefully, at least I can apply to work for DigiCert |
03:25 - 03:26 | They have DigiTrips |
03:31 - 03:33 | and cater daily... |
03:40 - 03:46 | I guess I'll need to do my time as a Support rep |
03:46 - 03:49 | In order to fully understand... |
03:53 - 03:56 | and appreciate life. |