| 00:00 - 00:05 | Here I am driving along and Schaffer is in front of me. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Were sitting at an four way intersection |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Schaffer turns into the left hand lane |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | I turn right behind him into the right hand lane so we're now side by side |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | This man decides that he HAS to have Subway, and swerves directly into my lane |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Subway |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | SUBWAY |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | He almost hits me, so he swerves back and stops dead in the middle of the road |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Subway |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Getchell is sitting right behind him minding his own business not paying attention and almost rear-ends him |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | I speed up so I can get the fuck out |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | and Schaffer turns from a dead stop on the highway into Subway |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | Fucking dead stop |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | on the highway |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | literally parked 10 feet |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | from an highway intersection |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Subway |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | That cold turkey sub |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | was calling his name |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | fucking dead stop on the highway because his he felt the call of the Sub Gods |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | He comes in the next day |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | and starts telling us about how he almost got hit |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | "This dude almost hit me yesterday" |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "Just out here tryna get some subway right off-base... |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | and he almost crashes into me" |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | I had to swerve to miss him and stop so I could turn" |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | "subway was good though" |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | "got a nice cold sub" |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | I'm just staring at him in disbelief, like how do you not know how to drive??? |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Subway |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Fucking |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | dead stop |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Getchell is about to lose his shit |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | planning how to murder someone and get away with it |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Everyone else is just shaking their heads at Schaffer, dying inside a little bit more |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | And Schaffer? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Schaffer has no idea what he did wrong |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | He's staring at us all like we're idiots |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | which we kind are |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | funniest shit that's happened this year |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Did he figure it out? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | We had to explain to him how intersections work, but yeah he eventually got it |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | holy shit, it was hilarious |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | man is wild |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | fucking dead stop |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Man NEEDED his subway I tell you |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Unreal. He's a fucking character, great guy though. |
