00:00 - 00:03 | President Biden has invoked the Defense Production Act to increase vaccine production |
00:04 - 00:05 | He plans to reach 100 million vaccines |
00:05 - 00:07 | within his first 100 days |
00:08 - 00:12 | Eligibility requirements are steadily reducing across all states |
00:12 - 00:15 | and we believe this summer, our fat asses will be jabbed |
00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent. The NYT predicts |
00:19 - 00:21 | I'll be ready to rock in July |
00:24 - 00:26 | I'm afraid... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Mike... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Mike has scheduled his wedding for May |
00:34 - 00:36 | It is to be held in Chicago |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who lives within driving distance of Chicago... get out |
01:13 - 01:15 | What sick twisted shit is this! |
01:15 - 01:17 | A wedding in a pandemic, are they insane?! |
01:18 - 01:23 | What, I get some cute stationery and I'm meant to drop my pants for COVID? |
01:25 - 01:28 | "No wedding for us" they said... |
01:29 - 01:31 | "We'll buy a house" they said! |
01:31 - 01:34 | I've been cooped up in a 500 sq ft apartment |
01:34 - 01:37 | using a kitchen stool for an office chair |
01:37 - 01:40 | glasses all fogged up outside |
01:40 - 01:42 | He's one of your closest friends and you've shared so mu- |
01:42 - 01:46 | He's fucking guilting us into this shit! |
01:46 - 01:48 | No one knows why these decisions are made |
01:48 - 01:52 | He's a cheap skank bargaining for a site fee |
01:53 - 01:54 | Or worse! |
01:56 - 01:57 | Maybe they don't want us to come |
01:57 - 02:00 | ever thought of that? |
02:00 - 02:03 | They would loveee a small wedding |
02:04 - 02:08 | but he has to invite us, right? |
02:08 - 02:13 | I promised Lori we would stay safe |
02:14 - 02:16 | until we could finally go on our honeymoon |
02:17 - 02:21 | Just imagine what we're going to have to endure to get there! |
02:27 - 02:29 | The security line at TSA... |
02:30 - 02:34 | Breathing in the recycled air of strangers on the airplane... |
02:34 - 02:36 | Doorknobs at a lousy hotel |
02:41 - 02:42 | But we're trapped |
02:43 - 02:47 | He was a groomsman at our weddings, RIGHT?! |
02:48 - 02:53 | Might as well lather COVID on our faces and get it over with |
02:54 - 02:56 | I bet he's caving to his family |
02:56 - 02:59 | those dumb fucks probably think |
03:00 - 03:02 | you can't get COVID at a wedding, right? |
03:04 - 03:07 | We can say we're busy with work, the boys can go alone |
03:14 - 03:16 | Well... |
03:19 - 03:23 | Megan was always unpredictable, ever since she moved in with us |
03:25 - 03:26 | I guess we'll just all get it |
03:31 - 03:33 | Taking our masks off for groomsmen photos.. |
03:40 - 03:46 | I was looking forward to being among people again |
03:46 - 03:49 | to breathing the air outside |
03:53 - 03:56 | but this is what it's come to |