| 00:00 - 00:03 | President Biden has invoked the Defense Production Act to increase vaccine production |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He plans to reach 100 million vaccines |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | within his first 100 days |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Eligibility requirements are steadily reducing across all states |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and we believe this summer, our fat asses will be jabbed |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent. The NYT predicts |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I'll be ready to rock in July |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | I'm afraid... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Mike... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Mike has scheduled his wedding for May |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It is to be held in Chicago |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who lives within driving distance of Chicago... get out |
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