00:00 - 00:03 | We've just received news via WhatsApp |
00:04 - 00:05 | It would appear that Jo has booked a holiday |
00:05 - 00:07 | To Portugal, here |
00:08 - 00:12 | It'll be for at least 10 nights |
00:12 - 00:15 | The weather report suggests sunshine throughout her stay |
00:17 - 00:19 | Screw the weather |
00:19 - 00:21 | Am I invited? |
00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
00:27 - 00:28 | There er... |
00:31 - 00:33 | There is something else you must know |
00:34 - 00:36 | Her ex boyfriend might also be going |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who's had a holiday this year: Get. Out. Now. |
01:13 - 01:15 | Her ex boyfriend? |
01:15 - 01:17 | The one she fucking lives with?! |
01:18 - 01:23 | Do you have any goddamn idea how many times |
01:25 - 01:28 | I have asked her to go away with me? |
01:29 - 01:31 | Well do you? |
01:31 - 01:34 | A fucking lot of times, that's how many |
01:34 - 01:37 | I just wanted a nice weekend away |
01:37 - 01:40 | Just the two of us, away from it all |
01:40 - 01:42 | Sir we think he might only go for 1 night |
01:42 - 01:46 | 1 fucking night too many! That should be me |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, I'm sure you'll get your opportunity |
01:48 - 01:52 | Have I not said I will go anywhere? |
01:53 - 01:54 | Have I not said I can be flexible? |
01:56 - 01:57 | At the drop of a fucking hat?! |
01:57 - 02:00 | She'd better send me a fucking post card |
02:00 - 02:03 | You don't wanna see the shit that's gonna go down if she doesn't |
02:04 - 02:08 | I want you checking the mail every fucking day |
02:08 - 02:13 | And if that post card doesn't arrive, mark my words |
02:14 - 02:16 | You had better pray it got lost in the post |
02:17 - 02:21 | I can't believe this is happening after everything we've been through so far |
02:27 - 02:29 | I just wanted one weekend |
02:30 - 02:34 | At least she'll get a decent sun tan |
02:34 - 02:36 | Not that I'll be there to see it |
02:41 - 02:42 | Best I can probably hope for |
02:43 - 02:47 | Is a couple of goddamn selfies, maybe some side boob |
02:48 - 02:53 | I miss the real thing :-( |
02:54 - 02:56 | The last time I saw her was so good |
02:56 - 02:59 | It's crazy just how great she is in bed |
03:00 - 03:02 | She's a proper wrong'un too once she starts |
03:04 - 03:07 | I've never seen him hung up so bad |
03:14 - 03:16 | When she returns, sent her a text from me |
03:19 - 03:23 | Ask how the holiday went |
03:25 - 03:26 | Ask if she had fun |
03:31 - 03:33 | Tell her I hope it was good |
03:40 - 03:46 | She can't know we discussed this |
03:46 - 03:49 | I can't have her thinking I'm totally obsessed |
03:53 - 03:56 | Gotta keep my guard up |