| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've been successful with our growth plan, sir. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | New engineers have been hired.. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The product road map is improving.. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ..but we are concerned about longer conch lines |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This should not be a problem |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Steiner removed the browser tests last month. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner's commit was reverted last Thursday. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Local build times are running twenty-plus minutes. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I'd like to address the engineering leads alone, please: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs and Burgdorf. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Twenty god-damned minutes?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Are you Herman-Fucking-Goering insane? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We have a product with maybe six god-damned visits a DAY! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Yet you assholes want to watch meaningless |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | green dots float by on every god-damned commit?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Asserting HTML elements and CSS?! |
| 01:34 - 01:36 | A colossal waste of company resources |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | .. exceeded by only your own massive incompetenc-- |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we believe it raises confidence- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Confidence?? In what, you idiot cock sucker? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, in the quality of the release, sir. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Seriously? You say "RELEASE FUCKING CONFIDENCE?" |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Are you QA?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You assholes masturbate to capybara six times a day |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | .. hoping that it magically sprinkles on you .. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | .. some god-damned improvement in your horrible shit? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Jesus! Werner Ass-Fucking Klemperer and Sergeant Schulz! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Does any of you even entirely appreciate.. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | ..that five hundred dollars.. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | ..is all we make a day, across every fucking channel?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | If you sum all of the billable time |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | that I and the teams are waiting on just these tests |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | it probably exceeds our daily revenues. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And God In Heaven help us |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | When one of these byzantine, shit-heap setups fails! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We need a god-damned SS division to resolve it. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I swear to you goat fuckers.. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | This stupid engineering team would be better off.. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ..if the fucking Scrum Masters were coding! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, Anna. We'll just unit test. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I suppose I was undone by source control. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I should have guessed that you gutless nitwits would have just |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | .. reverted the removal commits, or.. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | .. disabled the failing tests. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I should have trashed the commits. Then you would at least have had to rewrite it all |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | .. granting us a few weeks of productivity. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck, I need a vacation. |
