| 00:00 - 00:03 | The newspapers are all saying that Darling won the debate. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Apparently, Salmonds less popular than sour goat milk in Rutherglen. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Theyre calling him a colossal bellend in Bishopbriggs and Springburn
|
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They are also turning Salmonds Plan B answer |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | into a dubstep classic in Shettleston. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Well have to use the spin room. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Thats what Sturgeon is there for. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer
|
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sturgeon... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sturgeons tea wasnt ready when she left for the debate. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | She was completely unprepared and just repeated everything Salmond said. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Three of you will stay here: Swinney, Jenkins, Canavan |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What did I tell you? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Buy her a fucking Happy Meal! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | All you had to do was get her some chicken nuggets, for Christs sake! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And maybe a McFlurry if she's still not happy! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And now look at us! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The polls are lying to us! Ive never been polled! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The newspapers are owned by Westminster!! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Our CyberNats are a bunch of pathetic losers with too much time on their hands! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Führer, I really dont think you should say that about our Yes voters. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Theyre retarded gorillas with no ability to question anything! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Well youre a total bampot, man. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I tell you, the Yes campaign are a bunch of useless fuckwits! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And you three are no better. |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | I told you to keep those Better Together twats out of the theatre, |
| 01:58 - 02:00 | and you do the exact opposite! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You kept out all our supporters! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You left Salmond there to stew with that uptight badger, and he fucked us! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Have you ever been fucked by a badger? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | He kept going on and on about a Plan B for currency, |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and Eck followed your advice, like an idiot! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And what was it? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Oh yes, Just keep repeating that you want whats best for Scotland. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | As if people wouldn't notice he wasn't answering the question. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Wankers! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | From the very start you thought you could treat the voters like morons. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | What a catastrophic load of steaming pish! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Theyre a damn site smarter than you bunch of idiots! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Canavan, you couldnt organise an overdose in a crack den! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And you, Swinney! You have trouble tying your shoes! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Och hen, calm doon. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We had eighty years to convince people, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | but Salmonds dream of being the first King of Eckdom
|
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It is over. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Were totally
fucked. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But if you think Im going to stay here after September, and wallow in your shitty performance
you are seriously mistaken. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Id rather get shagged by Jimmy Krankie on a pedalo. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get tae fuck, yous. |
