| 00:00 - 00:03 | As you can see, 3 of our facilities are near capacity |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Berlin's cubical farm isn't cutting it |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The commute up the autoban is attrocious |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have 5 years left on the schnitzle stand but HR just fired the last worker |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We will move an engineering pod over there. Free beer and brats makes them productive. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What does the HRIS system suggest? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | You know, the Workday report |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sorry Boss |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The HRIS |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the data is bad, terribly outdated and innaccurate |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | even your own name is mispelled |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I suspected this but was hopeful that Workday fixed it. Will HR please leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We spent 4 years evaluating systems. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | 1.5 million dollars on integrations. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And now the engineers are stuck in a 10x20 schnitzle stand? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Is HR completely incompetent? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They only want to talk culture. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I need someone trained in business running it |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | to comb through the data. Make heads or tails of it. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Our budget doesn't support beer and brats for engineers. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Engineers will quit without beer. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Your engineers can't code when drunk on cheap stout. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Dark ale is on draft. Stout was last week. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Even worse. Hemler doesn't even have budget for that. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | If we don't have worker data |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | how will we launch our next phase? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Making our push into Russia - over the mountains. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Sending workers who don't like the snow or skiing? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | HR should consider worker skills, they seem trivial but aren't |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We can't win if we don't understand the workforce data. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Strategic alignment of workers to our objectives. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It is so obvious - I can't believe I have to tell you these things |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Do we need to build our own tool? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Surely I could come up with a system that helps us clean the data |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | This is standard in any system of record |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Even my name..misspelled. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | How hard is it to misspell Hitler. I can understand when Nostradamus made that mistake |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | but my own HR department. I wonder what gender they gave me. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Or worse, they don't even track gender. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Can you imagine in this day and age not tracking gender? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We would only promote men to high salary jobs. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, the day will come. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I feel like I have failed you all. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Today it is schnitzel carts and beer budgets |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | but tomorrrow |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | our HRIS system |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Need something simple. Store worker profiles - maybe an org chart or map of our facilities. Should be in the cloud. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Not on some giant paper map. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | My name should be properly spelled. |
