| 00:00 - 00:03 | I've decided you need a holiday where nobody will recognise you |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | somewhere like Loch Lomond |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | outside of Germany |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | If we can find you a castle to be holed up in with some of your friends, nobody will suspect anything |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and we can smuggle you out of Germany in a Volvo - nobody would ever suspect |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Which friends are you thinking of? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I can't do with tossers!! |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I'm thinking..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We're thinking of the Gilding's |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You'll be safe with them |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who may have Covid - leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why the fuck would I want the Gildings? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The bastards will just fucking question me about Alex!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I'll not be able to get past Tebay without them sticking their fucking noses in and applying the thumb screws |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | You know what Georgie is like |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Nosy fucking bitch |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I'm telling you now, they'll drag it out of me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They're sneeky bastards |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And I'll not be able to keep my face straight |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, all you have to do is practice and keep your face straight |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's fucking useless - you don't understand - it's like they're fucking mind readers |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, you shouldn't doubt yourself |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You're a waste of space and I don't even want to go on fucking holiday |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | All he'll do is take the piss out of me |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | He looks for any opportunity to ridicule |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He'll have me doing some bloody daft march just to take the piss |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and she's as bad - she'll be setting me up on his behalf |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | They're nice to your face, but it's all one big fucking laugh for those two |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And all the time, they'll think they've got one up on me for spilling the beans about Alex |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What the fuck is a dictator to do about that? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Well, I don't want to go - Alison can go on her own |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They'll take stupid bloody photo's |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Making me look like a fat bastard at the side of Loch Lomond |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Wearing the F B Clothing range |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I wouldn't mind |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | but it's like he doesn't realise that he's a fat twat as well |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Fucking holier than thou, thinking he's fucking slim and good looking |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | He needs to look in a big fucking mirror |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And he's losing is fucking hair, but keeps putting gel on it! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | At least I don't fucking gel my hair |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Calm down Alex, you'll stress |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I would like to go to Gleneagles though |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and even though I've not played in ages |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'd beat him |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The trouble is.... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | He'll just want to get naked all the fucking time |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | cos he knows how big my bollock is |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | tell Alison I'm not going |
