00:00 - 00:03 | ADMIRAL AS YOU CAN SEE, WE'VE HAD A BUSY WEEKEND |
00:04 - 00:05 | WE DEPLOYED 4 RESCUE SWIMMERS |
00:05 - 00:07 | AND PULLED 19 SAILORS TO SAFETY |
00:08 - 00:12 | THE OIL TANKER RUPTURED AND SPILLED 600 GALLONS OF OIL IN THE OCEAN |
00:12 - 00:15 | DUE TO OUR VALIANT EFFORTS WE WERE ABLE TO CONTAIN THE PRODUCT TO A SMALL AREA |
00:17 - 00:19 | WELL DONE COMMANDER, IM LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING HOME |
00:19 - 00:21 | CHANGING INTO MY PJ'S, AND WATCHING MEN OF HONOR |
00:24 - 00:26 | ADMIRAL |
00:27 - 00:28 | ONE MORE THING |
00:31 - 00:33 | PARKS AND HIS SHRIMP BOAT ARE MISSING |
00:34 - 00:36 | WE ARE SEARCHING BUT NOTHING SO FAR |
00:53 - 00:58 | IF YOU ARE NOT ON MY COMMAND STAFF GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS OFFICE |
01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE STUPID IDIOTS |
01:15 - 01:17 | WE PUT OUT SAFETY ADVISORIES FOR A REASON |
01:18 - 01:23 | IM SICK & TIRED OF THESE REDNECK, FORREST GUMP WANNABE AMATEURS |
01:25 - 01:28 | THINKING THEY CAN GO OUT AND SAIL THE MIGHTY SEAS |
01:29 - 01:31 | THEY TAKE ONE LITTLE ONLINE BOATING CLASS |
01:31 - 01:34 | AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY ARE CAPTAIN SIG |
01:34 - 01:37 | FROM THE DEADLIEST CATCH |
01:37 - 01:40 | WE LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS, CANT EVEN LOCATE ONE LITTLE BOAT |
01:40 - 01:42 | ADMIRAL WE TRIED TO TELL THEM NOT TO GO OUT |
01:42 - 01:46 | YOU SHOULDVE ARRESTED HIS ASS AND SEIZED HIS VESSEL |
01:46 - 01:48 | HE ASSURED US THAT HE'S BEEN ON ROUGHER WATERS IN LINCOLN COUNTY |
01:48 - 01:52 | FOR GOD'S SAKE CAPTAIN YOU'RE JUST AS MUCH AN IDIOT AS HIM |
01:53 - 01:54 | WE'RE THE UNITED STATES FRIGGIN COAST GUARD |
01:56 - 01:57 | WHEN STORMS SHUT DOWN THE ENTIRE PORT |
01:57 - 02:00 | WE GO OUT |
02:00 - 02:03 | WHEN HURRICANES GROUND THE NAVY, WE GO OUT |
02:04 - 02:08 | WHEN THE HOLY LORD HIMSELF REACHES DOWN FROM HEAVEN |
02:08 - 02:13 | AND DESTROYS HIS GOOD WORK WITH WINDS THAT RIP HOUSE OFF THE GROUND |
02:14 - 02:16 | WE GO OUT |
02:17 - 02:21 | BUT WE CAN'T FIND ONE FRIGGIN INBREEDER ON A JOHN BOAT |
02:27 - 02:29 | OF ALL THE PEOPLE WE RESCUE |
02:30 - 02:34 | THESE REDNECKS ARE THE WORST |
02:34 - 02:36 | "MAYDAY" "MAYDAY" "PLEASE HELP ME" |
02:41 - 02:42 | MORONS |
02:43 - 02:47 | THE OPEN WATERS ARE NOT AN ABOVE GROUND POOL |
02:48 - 02:53 | YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOHN BOAT WITH A TROLLING MOTOR OUT IN THE OCEAN |
02:54 - 02:56 | I'VE GOT HALF A MIND TO ABANDON THE SEARCH |
02:56 - 02:59 | AND TAKE HIS WIFE OUT TO DINNER |
03:00 - 03:02 | AND SHOW HER WHAT A REAL CAPTAIN LOOKS LIKE |
03:04 - 03:07 | IT'S OK ASHLEY, HE'S JUST UPSET, THEY WILL FIND DEREK |
03:14 - 03:16 | CAPTAIN, |
03:19 - 03:23 | MUSTER UP WHOMEVER YOU MUST AND FIND THIS GUY |
03:25 - 03:26 | AND WHEN YOU GET HIM |
03:31 - 03:33 | TEACH HIM THE PROPER WAY TO TRANSMIT A MAYDAY |
03:40 - 03:46 | SCREAMING "WE DON'T OWN THE AREA" IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT |
03:46 - 03:49 | THIS GUY KNOWS BETTER |
03:53 - 03:56 | CMON MAN! |