00:00 - 00:03 | We've been looking at the traffic leaving the city |
00:04 - 00:05 | Your normal rush hour issues |
00:05 - 00:07 | So we think it's best |
00:08 - 00:12 | to take the Verrazano Bridge through Staten island |
00:12 - 00:15 | and keep things simple by taking I-95. |
00:17 - 00:19 | Then I think I will take I-78 |
00:19 - 00:21 | and go through the entire state of Pennsylvania. |
00:24 - 00:26 | But Stool... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Maybe.... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Only an asshole would take that route, |
00:34 - 00:36 | because it adds 4 hours to the trip. |
00:53 - 00:58 | I love to drive on U.S. Interstate 78. |
01:13 - 01:15 | I love Allentown! Easton! |
01:15 - 01:17 | Lebanon! Harrisburg! |
01:18 - 01:23 | I love driving around in circles for hours like a fucking idiot! |
01:25 - 01:28 | And the fucking Mets..! |
01:29 - 01:31 | If I had a dick, I'd rather cut it off |
01:31 - 01:34 | than watch another second of that useless team! |
01:34 - 01:37 | They're a fucking embarrassment to baseball! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Did you see what happened with fucking Cespedes yesterday? |
01:40 - 01:42 | But it's still early in a shortened season-- |
01:42 - 01:46 | THEY LOST A FUCKING OUTFIELDER!!! |
01:46 - 01:48 | But maybe the pitching can still come back--- |
01:48 - 01:52 | Did you not hear me, you fucking idiot?? |
01:53 - 01:54 | THEY LOST A PLAYER! |
01:56 - 01:57 | And why didn't Beltran swing |
01:57 - 02:00 | at that fucking curve that we could all see |
02:00 - 02:03 | coming from 12 fucking miles away? |
02:04 - 02:08 | This team has ruined my fucking life |
02:08 - 02:13 | and that's why I love driving the worst possible |
02:14 - 02:16 | fucking routes to get anywhere, because |
02:17 - 02:21 | why should I deserve anything good if I like the Mets? |
02:27 - 02:29 | Why was Patrick up there? |
02:30 - 02:34 | What was he seeking? |
02:34 - 02:36 | Why was he creeping with the binoculars? |
02:41 - 02:42 | I-95 is too straight |
02:43 - 02:47 | and it makes too much sense to go somewhere quickly! |
02:48 - 02:53 | And maybe if my wife didn't have "feelings" and spend 15 minutes "crying" |
02:54 - 02:56 | in the condo, then maybe we could have |
02:56 - 02:59 | made slightly better time....OR, if I didn't have to |
03:00 - 03:02 | reattach my FUCKING FRONT DOOR!!! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Her dad installed the door upside-down. |
03:14 - 03:16 | I order egg everything bagels... |
03:19 - 03:23 | The I-78 of bagels....which are bad for my |
03:25 - 03:26 | Ear Ass Disease. |
03:31 - 03:33 | Patrick...orders the Nixon bagel... |
03:40 - 03:46 | And Danny didn't eat that Chalupa. |
03:46 - 03:49 | He ordered 2 Chalupas... |
03:53 - 03:56 | He only ate one. |