| 00:00 - 00:03 | It's agreed after the bunker news we need a photo op. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We can get to St. John's |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | if we cross Pennsylvania right here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We sent Barr out with a megaphone and a broom |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but the protesters are just laughing and pointing at him. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Wait. You sent Barr? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Where's Ivanka? Or that creampuff Jared? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ... Ivanka... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...she's afraid tear gas will ruin her Jimmy Choos |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and it's Jared's turn to inspect the bunker. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | OK. Somebody go get me a Big Mac and a Diet Coke. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How many times do I have to say it? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | It was an inspection! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | All the good presidents do bunker inspections. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Cipollone told me it was a goddam amendment! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why can't you people get rid of this? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The economy's in the shitter so now I have to run |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | on "law and order" like that asshole Dick Nixon did |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and you see where he ended up. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, your VP can always pardon you after he's... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You think Pence would pul a Jerry Ford? Get real! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we're getting ahead of ourselves. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | So the best you guys can come up with is a photo op |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | across the street at a church. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Holding a Bible, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | standing with a bunch of white guys |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | after teargassing and beating up protesters, |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You must be the same megaminds that came up with Space Force. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Republicans are starting to distance themselves from me. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They even have Moscow Mitch running scared |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I don't want to have to make another call to Putin now? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I can't walk all the way across the street. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | That's too much cardio to start the week. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I get winded on a par 3 without a cart. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I don't ask for much. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Just blind loyalty and a Big Mac and Diet Coke! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You talked me out of the tanks on Dupont Circle. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | That would have been the best. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But, no, you sissies went for the church gambit. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And, no, I'm still not wearing mask. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Be strong. The drive thru at McDonald's is jammed... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | OK... we'll walk to the church. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Since Barr has a broom, tell him to sweep up the rubber bullets. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But double check. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | No more screw-ups. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Get everything set up so I do everything perfect, like the transcript. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | like hold the Bible upside down. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I don't want to look stupid. |
