| 00:00 - 00:03 | Our campaign for Rugby Aotearoa is underway |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Highlanders are drunk idiots |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Chiefs are rebuilding |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The Hurricanes have lost Beauden |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But the Blues are looking strong with Beauden there |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Getting Beauden was a fluke for the Blues |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And a decision he will no doubt regret |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Razor |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Dan Carter |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Dan Carter has joined the Blues as well |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And will be the supporting 10 to Beauden |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I want everyone that was in the team that lost to the Lions to leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is unacceptable! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Dan Carter is supposed to be in Paris |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Swaning down catwalks in his undies |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Not helping develop the Blues into an effective rugby team! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | [Don't worry he will still advertise undies] |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | When did the Blues become an attractive team? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Just because Auckland is the only decent city in New Zealand |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Doesn't mean everyone has to live there! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Razor, Christchurch is full of farmers |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Farmers make great rugby players, strong and pigheaded |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We also have no decent stadium or nightlife |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't talk to me about Stadiums! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Do you think Richie McCaw |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Cares about whether his stadium |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Is tin shed in the middle of a disaster zone! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Freezing cold and smelling of horse shit! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | He is a true Crusader |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Loyal, brave, and from Otago |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | With nothing in his life except Rugby |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | A great New Zealander |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Not some metosexual, underwear model |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Who has an incredible international life |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Buying villas and defecting to our old rival |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | How can we convince people |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | That we are a proper city |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And not some glorified farming village |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Just because our new logo |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Looks like two erect penises touching |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Doesn't mean we're all terrible graphic designers! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | [Not that there is anything wrong with that] |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Well it doesn't matter |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We will probably win the rugby anyway |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But with our legend wearing blue |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Give McCaw a call |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And make sure he is not going to the Highlanders |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I hear Ben Smith might be coming back for them |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And they have a much better stadium |
