| 00:00 - 00:03 | So, we've come to this fork in road, so to speak, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | whereby a metaphorical |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | choice must be made. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | You find a stark increase in the rise in |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | philatelists groups from here to here. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Philatelists is a big word. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | You mean stamp collectors, right? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, yes, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | stamp... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Stamp collectors like using the big words, you know. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | 'Stamp collecting' sounds nerdy. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | At least it's not a collective noun, like a group of yodellers. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Who are these pricks? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Philatelists? They're as bad as vexillologists! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Call them what they are! Flag dudes! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Cancel the numismatists society! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You can't glorify coin collectors! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And arctophiles? Collecting teddies? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Fu...no, I'm not swearing...I'm off it for May... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I wish I wasn't though, it's hard. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, a deltiologist society rang yesterday... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Do I care? Postcards? Where are they displaying them? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Postcards are a valid form of historic inf... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Shut up! Don't interrupt a man's rant. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Conchologists are just as bad. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Discophiles are only justified |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | since Hi-Fidelity came out as a movie! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Oh, "John Cusack is so good in that!" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Tegestologist is a thing? It's a big name for a pisshead |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | who hoards beer mats to remind him of how |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | pissed he gets every weekend with other pissheads! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | At least bibliophile makes some sense as a collective noun. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Books...biblio...relating to books. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | As for oeniphiles, well, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | collecting wine is not a thing! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Just drink it. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Nobody cares that you have 700 bottles of undrinkable wine! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Don't get me going on lepidopterists. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Kiling insects and pinning them to cards! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | That's bordeline personality disorder, right there! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Why don't they do that crap to kittens or fish?! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Better hide your collection of beetles tonight... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Or those oologists. Empty egg shells? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | What's up with that? Just paint them yourself, Dirk. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Yeah, you... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Stuff it. Collect what you want. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Is it a bad time to admit I collect comics? Pannapictagraphists they call them, probably to sound like |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | they don't still live with their parents. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Leave the fancy terms out. |
