| 00:00 - 00:03 | The station's all set up. SteppIR is 1:1 on all bands. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | RBN in Hong Kong has us +38dB. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We're the only station it's hearing. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Solar flux is up. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And there's been no flares. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We're all set up. We will win |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | the mult-multi open section. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sadly your neighbour has just got |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | a new solar power |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | inverter system. S9+ noise on all bands. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Can't hear anything now. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone not on the DXCC Honor Roll, leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why did you not tell me earlier!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I've been planning this for months! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Even paid for last year's winner to go on a skindiving holiday. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And bribed the rival teams to stay off the air. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I live my life for contests. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I bought this house so I could work DX. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I lobbied Newington to accept the country I just worked. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I am just two off World No 1. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You could operate SOTA? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Stuff that for a joke! You think I'm a goat? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Or operate from the radio club? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | They only have a stupid FT840! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I bought my IC7851 specially |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | for this weekend's championships. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I knew I was going to win. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The old duffers at the club can't even fix the rotator. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Their rusty TH3JR's stuck north-west. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Do they think I talk to kangaroos? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I need long path. I need short path. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | All directions. I need the whole world! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Of all the things they spend my taxes on |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Why did they not stop the noisy inverters? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And I was so fast leaping up the list |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Everyone started to notice. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I was due to speak at Dayton's DX Dinner. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I would tell them how it's all done. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | No one else has done it like me. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | North Korea was going to let me use their jammer antennas |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | to win next year's IARU World DX Contest. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, we can just talk on Echolink. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | My DX dreams are shattered. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It's no good if you can't hear anyone. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | My gear will go. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Pack it up for the monks at Mt Athos. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'll see my family for the first time in years |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Buy some books by that barefoot QRP guy on YouTube |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Build a QRP kit, get a wire and go portable. |
