| 00:00 - 00:03 | There has been a tragedy in Zirkhug Village |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Someone is cleaning roofs with a pressure washer |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | They are claiming jihad against soft washers |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They used a zero tip at 4000 psi |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The damage is estimated at $200M |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Their low pressure disc system is not true |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They claimed it was all low pressure |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuehrer, I ummm... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | This is the company you called |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | to clean your mom's cedar roof last week. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The roofers are there now calculating the damage. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those of you who only clean windows and wash siding can now exit the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How could this happen? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Are the citizens so blinded by Facebook and blue jeans to decipher the truth? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | All the bullshit of low pressure and plant friendly products.... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How did they come first page on a Google search? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Mother dear mothers cedar roof has survied |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Every British bombing run and we |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | never even sealed it with oil |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Then these jackasses come along promising low pressure |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | they offered a 2 year maintenance package |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Maintenance? The whole roof needs replacement |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We can replace with asphalt shingles, Home depot is having a sale |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Do I look like a peasant? Asphalt shingles are for common citizens |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I might as well move to the ghetto. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They brain washed the world scaring us about bleach and chemicals |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Their website shows a nice picture of floor buffer on the roof |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | it never showed how it's hooked to a gas powered roof blaster |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Who wrote all the bullshit positive reviews in their Google profile? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and to hell with their A+ BBB rating |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I wanted to remove some mold and moss |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and here we are figuring out how we are going to replace |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | mama's cedar roof |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We cannot let this continue. We need to license these roof cleaner pricks |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | so this never happens to another roof again! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I painted my first portrait on mama's roof |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and now it's ruined. freakin destroyed |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | The soft wash guys were going to clean mama's roof using a simple detergent |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and I didn't believe them. It didn't make sense |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | How can you clean a roof without actually getting up on the roof? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Did anyone bother to check their insurance? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Thompson cleaned your moms roof. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | But now, after all that work... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | of finding the right company to clean mama's cedar roof.... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I will punch you in the gut to show you |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | how mama's cedar roof feels. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe a Timberline shingle roof isn't so bad |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | They have some nice colors at Home Depot |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | .Shit...at this point, what difference does it make? |
| 03:57 - 04:03 | I'm hungry. I want a Frankfurter |
