| 00:00 - 00:03 | It's finally happening |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | There are too many COVID patients |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | All departments converting to COVID units |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | All the GI and Cardiology fellows have been drafted |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Even orthopedists are seeing COVID cases |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Were protected in Dermatology |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We have to screen for melanomas |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We are... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We are being sent to the medicine floors |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We start at 7 am tomorrow |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who hasn't read the entirety of Bolognia please leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How could this happen?!?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I was told that I'd never step foot on the wards again |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I didn't score a 270 on step 1 for this |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you even know where your stethoscope is? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It'll be okay |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How do you treat pneumonia with a dermatoscope? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Are we going to fill their lungs with liquid nitrogen?! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Or do you suggest we use phototherapy? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir there is evidence that the virus can be killed with UV rays |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Are you planning to attach an excimer laser to a bronchoscope?! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, I once intubated a patient on my anesthesia rotation as a student |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You can't even properly excise a cyst without rupturing it |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We're skin doctors! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Seborrheic keratoses... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Actinic keratoses and nevi... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | These are things we're trained to treat! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Now you're telling me that I need to manage a ventilator |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Tidal volumes, oxygenation, ventilation, AC/VC, SIMV, and PEEP... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I don't even know what PEEP is! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Who here remembers anything about cardiopulomary physiology and the curve of Frank-Starling?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We'll be forced to wear one N95 mask for the entire shift |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How will we re-apply sunscreen to our faces every 2 hours? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | This is a tragedy |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I purged my mind after step 3 |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I swore that I'd never do another rectal exam |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I don't even know how to replete electrolytes anymore |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I'd rather treat an entire panel of prurigo patients |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Instead of those damn walking rounds for 4-5 hours |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'll develop severe venous insufficiency after the first week |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay we'll wear compression stockings |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If the orthopedists have been pulled |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Then they must be desperate |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We have no choice |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I've heard that plaquenil may be effective for COVID |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Start everyone on the usual dose of 200 mg BID... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ...And if we survive this |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Free botox for everyone |
