| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer the campaign has been going very well |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Despite the setbacks in |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | recent years you have a commanding lead |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | In addition, you have significantly more reserves than in recent years |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | You just need to remove a few Liverpool defenders.... |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | ..given their reversal in form |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and yes, I will be a certain winner |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | But Sir, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | a problem has arisen |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ..which we feel may jeopardise your victory |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There is a dangerous virus circulating |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | A fucking virus...well first anyone who thinks they have it leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | A fucking virus..... |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I've waited 10 years to get this trophy back... |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Surely there's a vaccine or something.... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | ..it's not like they will actually |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | .stop all football and abandon the League |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What about Liverpool and Klopp ? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | For God's sake - has Sam Carpenter or Iainn.. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | ....whatever his name is arranged this virus? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | The virus originated in China |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Probably the Chairman's brother and his crony then.. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | He is in Dubai not China Mein Fuhrer |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Get on the phone to Johnson.. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | ..tell him he can close down.. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | whatever he fucking likes |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | but the football must go on |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It could be another 10 years before I get this chance again |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And what about the garden party? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | ...how will that work if there is no trophy? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | In fact just give me the trophy now... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | ...no-one else stood a fucking chance |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | For Gods sake it's nearly April.. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | ...and I've still got transfers left... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | ..its never ever happened before |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Hours of sitting on my ipad.. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | ..anxiety about having so many Scousers in my team |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and it all gets scuppered by a tiny virus |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You couldnt make it up |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I bet that Leeyers... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ...is pissing himself about all this |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, he's probably lying about the transfers |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This virus will go away... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ...and next season it will be all the usual suspects... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | even my fucking wife... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | ...will probably remember how it's done |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Anyhow maybe the garden party will be cancelled |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It usually rains anyway |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Life is really shit isn't it..... |
