00:00 - 00:03 | Coronavirus is spreading quickly |
00:04 - 00:05 | We've confirmed transmission |
00:05 - 00:07 | Including here, here, and here |
00:08 - 00:12 | Italy has self quarantined |
00:12 - 00:15 | Berlin's hospitals will soon be overwhelmed |
00:17 - 00:19 | We'll go to Disney World |
00:19 - 00:21 | Surely the heat and humidity kill the virus |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
00:27 - 00:28 | Disney World |
00:31 - 00:33 | Disney World has closed all four parks |
00:34 - 00:36 | America has banned flights from Europe |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who has tested positive for Coronavirus, leave the room now |
01:13 - 01:15 | How can they close the parks!? |
01:15 - 01:17 | People need joy in this time of uncertainty! |
01:18 - 01:23 | Mickey's not even human! He can't catch the virus! |
01:25 - 01:28 | Sure, he's in close contact with Duffy... |
01:29 - 01:31 | but no one cares about that bear! |
01:31 - 01:34 | I've been waiting months for Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway! |
01:34 - 01:37 | Now my Fastpass is useless! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Are we to wait in line like the offsite guests!? |
01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, the hotels are to remain open. |
01:42 - 01:46 | No one goes to Disney World for the hotels! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, many of the hotels are world class establishments. |
01:48 - 01:52 | Only if you buy DVC, and not if it's resale! |
01:53 - 01:54 | Which more hotels are becoming every day! |
01:56 - 01:57 | Our annual passes expire in two weeks. |
01:57 - 02:00 | Now we're going to have to buy new ones. |
02:00 - 02:03 | They'll probably raise the prices while the parks are closed. |
02:04 - 02:08 | The world's economy is entering a recession. |
02:08 - 02:13 | Where are we going to find $1300 for every German citizen to get new passes? |
02:14 - 02:16 | We could have ridden everything before they expired! |
02:17 - 02:21 | Now we don't even know when it will be safe to travel again. |
02:27 - 02:29 | It's not like Disney World is dirty. |
02:30 - 02:34 | They show you where the hand wash stations are on the My Disney app. |
02:34 - 02:36 | Everyone here practices good hygeine! |
02:41 - 02:42 | We've been self-isolating |
02:43 - 02:47 | Stuck in this bunker for weeks with no outside contact! |
02:48 - 02:53 | We've got toilet paper out the wazoo |
02:54 - 02:56 | Our butts are cleaner than ever |
02:56 - 02:59 | I haven't even been able to ride Rise of the Resistance yet! |
03:00 - 03:02 | The lines will probably be twice as long when they reopen! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, dear. They'll still have boarding groups available next month. |
03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe we'll just have to accept our fate. |
03:19 - 03:23 | Epcot Forever isn't really forever. |
03:25 - 03:26 | We'll never get to see it. |
03:31 - 03:33 | We've seen every nightime show since 1971. |
03:40 - 03:46 | My dream of living forever and never missing a Disney attraction is dead. |
03:46 - 03:49 | All thanks to a virus. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Let's just go to Disneyland Paris instead. |