| 00:00 - 00:05 | Great idea, we're gonna push accounting on the students |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We'll say "it's a great career path with plenty |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | of opportunity for growth and exit options" |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | Make them all feel special |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | But the job is absolutely not worth it |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | And by the end, they'll know it, and still do it |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | How dumb are they? |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | They'll be working 80 hours a week right out of college |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | barley making more than a finance major |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | And we're gonna make it so competitive, they won't even |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | think about leaving the "Big 4" until after 3-5 years, |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | and after that it doesn't even get better |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | There's not even overtime pay |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | because they're all on salary |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | It's pretty much minimum wage labor |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | during busy season |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | We can just throw in bullshit like |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | "work-life balance" during the recruiting |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | events, and talk about gym memberships |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | There's not even time to go to gym! |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | They'll be getting home at 1am |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | who wants to workout then? |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Okay, so we'll make a test to become a "CPA", |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "Certified Public Accountant". |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | So the test, it can be 4 parts..and |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | ..and |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | we'll make it impossible to pass |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Recommended 100-150 hours of |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | studying per part |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | for 4 parts |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | None of the stuff... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | None of the stuff from... |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | None of the stuff they learn in school |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | will even be on the tests! |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | But they'll still pay an extra $30,000 for a masters anyway |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | "and take out loans?" |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | and take out loans |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | 49% pass rate on each test |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | and if they don't pass them soon enough, they lose the credit |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | The tests won't have anything to do with working as an accountant either |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | "You really think that would work?" |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | The students are already enrolled now. Some of them know, but just don't care |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | anymore because what else can they do? |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | They think they're so much smarter than their marketing friends. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | 49% pass rate |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | and 5 years of school, for a job that treats you like shit |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | You can't make this shit up. |
