| 00:00 - 00:03 | Skip, Reporting on this weeks match against South Perth |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We played at our hallowed home courts |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We won 5-3, and Devo played very well |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They had the Power brothers |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They are a tough opponent who play particularly well away |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Aren't they the retards from south of the river? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | second last on the ladder? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Correct, but |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Chunds played #1 |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Smythy was at Dame Edna... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...and Bill was over east on the hooch |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All the retards who play Cardio tennis can fuck off now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fucking kidding me? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | 5-3 against a bunch of retards |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How are we going to win the title if you can even beat these geriatrics? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What do we tell the engraver?? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Hold off we are not good enough in Div 3? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We didnt win 3 cups by playing like pansies |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Which one of you will stand up and tell me what really happened? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Come on, out with it |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Skip, Devo played really well he only lost 3 game |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Of course you moron, he was playing an 80 year old with one arm! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | And Craig played a doonker, he got quite upset |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | A Dooker?, we out doonk doonkers |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Then gring them into the dirt! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Chunds your serve has gone to off the boil and you volley worse han TK |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Pat, you have gone soft like a cream puff |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Devo has been off for a month with his sick mother |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | and he could beat the lot of you! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I didnt put this team together and nominate in Div 3 to lose! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I've put my heart into the Deucebags |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And we cant even put these morons to the sword! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Craig, are you away again this week? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You are on pobation again until you can show |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | You have what it takes to win like a deucebag |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Deucebags of old were not like this |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We could win against anyone, anywhere, anytime |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We are going to have to turn this ship around |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We are rostered against Alexander Park this week |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and they are so much better than those peanuts from South Perth |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Now I know what Ross Lyon feels like... |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Lizzie, its ok Pat is not on dinner this week |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Smythy are you around this week? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Chunds you've had more chances than David Warner |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Craig? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You better have a clean sheet, or youre heading back to play with GB |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Devo, tell me you're not at a Xmas party... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Pat, surely you can last four sets |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least this is the last round... |
