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Makes good on promises to deliver top notch service and technology.

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00:00 - 00:05So I was sitting in her office
00:05 - 00:07She says to me
00:07 - 00:10"We have to increase out bottom line."
00:11 - 00:16"But we don't have any new products"
00:17 - 00:21"So, we'll sell them things they already paid for"
00:21 - 00:24"Under a different name."
00:29 - 00:31"Security Umbrella"
00:31 - 00:34"OneSource Anti-Spam"
00:38 - 00:40"Insurance"
00:41 - 00:47"And if they don't want to buy anything"
00:47 - 00:50They will have "lightning damage" to all their equipment
00:50 - 00:56And they will have to buy twice as much
00:58 - 00:59We'll sell the whole deal
00:59 - 01:01And the day before it's promised
01:04 - 01:06We'll inform the engineers
01:06 - 01:08And they will have to work all night
01:13 - 01:14To make it work
01:14 - 01:16And the day of the project
01:16 - 01:20We'll inform them that the security system
01:21 - 01:27That they didn't know about.. Also needs to be installed
01:35 - 01:36And the new chairs
01:36 - 01:39Are being delivered in 20 minutes
01:41 - 01:44But seriously.
01:44 - 01:47They need this gear.
01:47 - 01:49Because they will get cryptolocked
01:50 - 01:53If they don't have everything we sell.
01:54 - 01:56You know?
01:56 - 01:58"OneSource Complete Security Enterprise"
01:58 - 02:02Hippa Response Plus Threat Protection
02:05 - 02:07It doesn't matter if they don't process
02:10 - 02:11Credit cards
02:11 - 02:13They still need full PCI compliance
02:15 - 02:17If you have more than 2 employees
02:17 - 02:20You need a redundant collaboration platform
02:21 - 02:28With 24 hour backup generator
02:29 - 02:30And backup internet?
02:30 - 02:323 backup internets!
02:36 - 02:39And so I said "Does anyone actually need this?"
02:40 - 02:42She said "We need to pay for the Audis"
02:50 - 02:55So I told the sales team to farm existing customers
02:56 - 02:58And what happened?
02:58 - 03:04We lost all of our customers.
03:04 - 03:09All of our techs.
03:09 - 03:11No one believed that they needed a million dollars
03:16 - 03:20worth of equipment. To run a small business.
03:23 - 03:26So we just commit insurance fraud
03:31 - 03:36And we make it work because no one is allowed to ask questions now.