| 00:00 - 00:03 | Post Office are holding conference calls on Thursday |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we need to infiltrate them |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We need members in each region |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | To make sure we monitor what is being said about the great NFSP |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and to report back to you, our Supreme CEO |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | You are referring to Berlin |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and we are in Shoreham on Sea |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | But boss |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we think that some |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | of the people in here right now |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | have signed up to join the CWU |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anybody here who has joined the CWU get out of here right now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Who is in charge of our Twitter account? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Block all these traitors! Don't let them post on our stuff! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How can I stop postmasters from questioning my role |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | If these clowns are going to meddle |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | and tell everyone how much we earn |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | for endorsing crap products and acting all business-like |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | when we really don't know what we are doing? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, we are brilliant, I think |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Brilliant? You STILL haven't cleaned the birdshit off the front gate! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But I couldn't find any rubber gloves |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I have millions - they came too late for our charity dishwash |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | But why do it yourself? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Call a firm in! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | That's what we do - invoice PO! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | As long as it says official PO business on the chit |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We can buy anything we like - that's our deal with these suckers! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We invoice them, they invoice the government, and then we gouge the postmasters again! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It is FOOL-PROOF - or it would have been |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | if not for those seekers of justice and fairness |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | standing up to Post Office |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | for the very postmasters who we have fooled for years |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | when we have been so clever online |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Drop comments here and there |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | or a stonewall silence if anyone asks us anything |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Update our logo once in a while and write hollow pithy press releases |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | they believed we were here to help |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Until that Justice Fraser summed us up in his judgement |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | then word was out about us |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, I don't think he's gonna mention Ezeecopy |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I want to do little Postman Pat vans |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and a life-size replica of Jess the Cat - with real fur |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Let's do a competition |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | call it "for NFSP High Fliers" |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Winner can have all the rooms-full of crap that we've got outback, years worth of over-ordered shite! |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Collection only - not involving Post Office |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | But the genius is - I KEEP the cat! |
