| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have located the missing sparklers. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Reports suggest that they are held here... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They were taken from our nightclubs... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | by Milan Norousi, Sean Monteine and some little guy that follows them around. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about the women? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Are they still attending our clubs? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Milan & Sean slept with them all. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They promised them comp drinks. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who lost their girlfriend to a promoter, get out now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | First they take our sparklers! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Then they take our girlfriends! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | What will we put on our vintage bottles now? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Perhaps some cheap birthday candles? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And then the girls... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How will the Arabs come to our nightclubs without any girls? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Promoters have ruined our business. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Under-age girls throwing up all over Mayfair. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we check the ID of all the girls. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Only passports and UK driving licenses you imbecile. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, if Milan slept with them they must be over 18. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That man is a female eating machine. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | If it has two boobs he will sleep with it. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Even if it had one boob. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "Come join my table tonight at a club!" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | "You'll get free drinks all night!" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Then he takes them home for some sexy time. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And don't get me started on Sean Monteine and his seduction powers. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They can barely fit him in their mouth. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Girls with jaw-aches that lasts for days. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The man even turns me on |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Something must be done of these promoters! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We must squeeze them by their balls |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Show them who's boss... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Thinking about it makes me shake my head furiously. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Stealing our sparklers and sleeping with our women. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Why can't I get that many women? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | They use sneaky tactics using free alcohol. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And comp entry to any club. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I know Anna, I slept with Milan for free drinks too |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | First thing we must do is call Ice Fountain |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Get a new batch of their amazing sparklers |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We've lost. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We need them more than they need us. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They bring too many table bookings. Tell them I'll pay them whatever they're owed. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We can't afford to have an empty club this weekend. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Also I miss Sean a lot. |
