| 00:00 - 00:03 | The battle here is going well for us. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It is key to control the roads |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Coming in from the south as expected |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Resistance is stiffening led by artillery and armor on all fronts |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We are bringing in reinforcements as needed along with supplies |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This is like Gettysburg |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The turning point of the American Civil War |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuehrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Miller |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Don Miller's new book says it was Vicksburg |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It split the Confederacy. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out but Bylen, Grundy, Porrell and Perry |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Vicksburg? That is lunacy! Madness! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I will not tolerate it. It was Gettysburg! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Meade stopped Lee's invasion of the North! Three days of vicious fighting. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What about Chamberlain at Little Round Top? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Vicksburg, Dicksburg, it was a siege! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | It's not Shelby Foote or Bruce Catton! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It's Don Miller from Lafayette College with a Maryland PhD |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I could take Lehigh but Lafayette? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | The book has gotten strong reviews! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | From who, his family and friends? Idiots! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuehrer, James McPherson loves it! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Ken Burns had Gettysburg as the turning point. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Is it the Vicksburg Address? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Of course not! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Grant beat Pemberton, not Robert E. Lee! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | In a secondary theater for a town with a view. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | There was no Picketts Charge, no Devils Den or Peach Orchard! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | It was key for us that Gettysburg was the turning point! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | That's why we bought land there and outbid Stalin! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We built all those cheap hotels on the Baltimore Pike |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The ones with the rubber sheets |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Those tourist traps to sell that worthless junk |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And all those fake ghost tours |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | and the endless bus tours |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I even funded the movie Gettysburg with the midget Martin Sheen as Lee |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Sam Elliott was pretty good as Buford |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We made a fortune on Gettysburg and now what? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | All due to a St. Vincent grad who read one book in high school |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Why couldn't he write a book on the Mexican War? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. Vicksburg is a nice town. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Everything will need to be marked down |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Movie residuals will be in the toilet |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | All construction stops |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Cancel the orders with Amazon |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe we can get the movie rights from Miller, even if DVD sales will suck. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | No role for Tom Hanks, his busom buddy! |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Have Goering play Grant, both drunks. |
