| 00:01 - 00:07 | This is a message on behalf of the new Supreme Leader of the International Union of Underwater Basketweaving Societies. |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | The former Secretary General has been convinced to gracefully retire, to hand over the esteemed Headquarters and our assets to our Precious Motherland... |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | In exchange he was awarded the prestigious Global Leadership and Service Medal amidst a great parade and much fanfare. |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | Yesterday, we had him put into a cage with four starving dogs... |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | .... as punishment for his treasonous crimes. |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | Our new Supreme Leader will usher in a prosperous new era of glorious underwater basketweaving achievements... It will be truly magnificent! |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | His first action was to deal with the rebellious young miscreants recruited by the former Secretary General and his despicable lieutenants |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | They have been put to death for bringing our Glorious Union into disrepute. |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | We are selective of new members, and expect them to ensure our dirty laundry stays in the hamper, well out of public sight, at all times. |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | Their requests for transparent and democratic process will remain denied... |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | The leadership of our Glorious Union is about lifelong merit and demonstrated esteem with our Great Political Leadership. |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | Our leadership will never be decided by cheap popularity contests. |
