Hitler Reacts to Connie’s Swift Recovery
For it is in moments like these, where guided humor can prevail over a struggling time, as hope has been restored. The need for more coffee is imminent.


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00:00 - 00:03My Lord, we now have a high alert situation.
00:03 - 00:05Danger is imminent...
00:05 - 00:07The crops are low here and there...
00:07 - 00:12From this region in the North, and as far as this region in the South...
00:12 - 00:15there is no way for this distribution plant to succeed at this level of production.
00:17 - 00:18Okay, I’m not worried...
00:18 - 00:21because... she is currently indisposed.
00:24 - 00:26My Lord...
00:27 - 00:28We, uh....
00:30 - 00:33We’ve just received word that Connie’s been brought home...
00:34 - 00:36and is in good health.
00:52 - 00:58If you were rooting for her... get... out... right... this second.
01:12 - 01:15This can't be the truth!
01:15 - 01:17You better be telling me the truth!
01:18 - 01:23All of those people out there in the hall and around the world rooting for her...
01:25 - 01:28and we just received word she is home.
01:28 - 01:31She better not be home!
01:31 - 01:34We were almost caught up with orders, yes yes!
01:34 - 01:37until some doctor decided she was in good health
01:37 - 01:40neither of you could convince him to make her stay!
01:40 - 01:43She was convinced that she was better and wouldn't stop pulling herself off of the bed...
01:43 - 01:46Then you FIGHT, young one! Force her to stay there!
01:46 - 01:48My Lord... this woman has the strength of a lioness.
01:48 - 01:52This woman is FOUR foot ELEVEN and 3 quarters!
01:52 - 01:54She's half your size!
01:55 - 01:57It's not like you're fighting
01:57 - 02:00a healthy person who has been lifting weights
02:00 - 02:03for the past decade, you complete idiot!
02:04 - 02:08Now we have to find these women who are growing these coffee beans
02:08 - 02:13and reprimand them for this extreme addiction they have caused, and break their legs!
02:13 - 02:16It's made her heart indestructible!
02:17 - 02:22We must burn down the farms that grow these beans... and stat!
02:27 - 02:29For me and the rest of us...
02:29 - 02:33In order for our hearts... our hearts to feel the same.
02:34 - 02:37We must keep the beans to ourselves.
02:40 - 02:42Whatever the cost...
02:42 - 02:47She must not use those beans, ground up in the pods!
02:48 - 02:53Especially that dreaded Nespresso machine she obsesses over!
02:53 - 02:55For each of you know what will happen...
02:56 - 02:59If those pods connect with the water and flow into the mug...
02:59 - 03:02and the caffeine flows through those veins!
03:04 - 03:08It's ok... It's only naff naff.
03:14 - 03:16Her heart has proven strong...
03:18 - 03:23It's just... you should be ashamed of yourselves...
03:25 - 03:26becase you lost.
03:31 - 03:33Her drinking... is inevitable.
03:40 - 03:46You now see that no doctor, from here to the end of the earth, will EVER be able to take her coffee away.
03:46 - 03:49unless we can halt production.
03:53 - 03:57Go, burn the farms to the ground.