| 00:00 - 00:03 | The fans are waiting. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The show is about to start. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | This is the largest venue in Europe. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Jeff's Attic is poised to become the become the most successful band in history. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Nothing will stop them, it seems. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | First they will take Europe... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Noth America is next. I can't see any weakness in this band. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Their drummer... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Their drumer is Jeff Richardson. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He couldn't keep time with a Rolex. |
| 00:51 - 00:56 | The show must go on. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who likes Jamiroquai or The Black Crowes get out now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck are Clinton and Dave thinking?!?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Going this long with this fucking buffoon?!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Like they would get somewhere?!! Like the problem would go the fuck away?? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What did they think was going to happen? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They're fucked! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I was going to back them financially! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I paid for all their Music Gym sessions. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They were just buying fivers and drinking their future away! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, they call them larges in Burlington. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don't give a flying fuck!! Their drummer is a buffoon!!!!!!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they started off as friends. They needed a place to jam, and it was his attic. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That was 1989! It's been fucking years!! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Years to get someone who can keep a fucking beat! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | My cat can play better. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It's gone too far!! Clint and Dave spent years learning intricate Rush and Metallica... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And that tool can't even play a paradiddle |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | His kit is a fucking joke!! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I can fart better beats out of my own anus!! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They needed a goddamn plan! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Instead, they squandered years of practice with a waterhead who never had any interest in a musical career! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They were doomed from the start. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | If only they learned how hard this industry is. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | You cannot play in a band with a link so weak, it is glaring in their lack of foresight. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Jeff Richardson.... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | He must be replaced immediately if it's the last fucking thing I do!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Clint and Dave must be punished, at all costs. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Find any drummer available. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I can only hope it's not too late! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | The whole thing is a sham! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, we can change the name of the fan club. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The show starts in under an hour. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | There's 60,000 people there, thinking that... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Jeff can play. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'm not sure we can do anything. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe I can play in the interim. I've never sat behind a kit, but I couldn't be much worse. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If anyone says anything, we can say Jeff is sick. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Desparate times call for desparate decisons. |
