| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Knights of the Order of Knobcunts are arriving |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | So far, they have shown up here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | From what we can tell, they put Tony Abbott into a |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | giant John Howard shaped knobcunt enlargment machine |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Are you suggesting..... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | That Tony Aboott is a bigger knobcunt than John Howard? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... Tony Abbott is |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Such a knobcunt that... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | If he was crowned Sir Giant Knobcunt of Knobsville |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There wouldn't be budgie smugglers big enough for him |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who has watched Dame Edna Everage or quoted the Knights who Say Ni, leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell is that knobcunt Abbott thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Taking Australia back to 1950 with knights and dames? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He didn't even ask his fucking cabinet! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And he's naming Quentin Bryce as the first dame? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Quentin is a bloke's name! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Dame Quentin...it's confusing! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Is it going to be Sir Fucking John Howard next? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Dame Gina, Sir Clive.... |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, Tony wants housewives of Australia to do all the ironing. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I know! Let's all get in the Delorean and go back to 1955 |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, he now wants us to have hair cuts like Kim Jong-un |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well, despot is as despot does I guess. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | "Oh it's baddies versus baddies" he tells Davos |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | "Climate change is absolute crap" he cries |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "Mates help each other, they do not tax each other. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Pigs arse! It's 2014, we don't need knights anymore! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Are you fucking kidding me? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Can you imagine? Sir Christopher Pyne?!? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Sir Christopher Whiny Pyney on Sunrise! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Talking to Sir Kochie, awarded for his services to breastfeeding Aussie mums |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Oh, good morning Sir Christopher... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Welcome to Sunrsie and congrats on your knighthood |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | for losing yet another South Australian election |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Can you imagine the Logie Awards? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Every starlette on fucking Neighbours would be knighted |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Oh, let's knight the entire Liberal Front Bench. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Yeah. That'll work. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Here are the Knobcunt Knights of the Front Bench |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You all fucking voted for him you morons! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, we'll erase Knights in White Satin off the iPod |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We could be a country inspired by innovation, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | A global citizen leading the way |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | With boundless plains to share |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | And a humane refugee policy |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But no, we long for mother England and the Queen |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But...I make one exception... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Sir Richie Benaud |
