| 00:00 - 00:03 | We'll divide our theses in four papers to be submitted: |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | one for an IS seminar in Chile |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | one at a business meeting in Austria |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | one for the AMCIS in Salt Lake City |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and the fourth has a shot at MIS Quarterly |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Review your works and choose |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | the ones you're going to submit at IEEE meetings |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My advisor |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we can't... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | we can't because our theses are qualitative |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and IEEE already rejected them |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anybody who has programmed at least five lines of code, leave my room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We are in Computer Sciences! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Qualitative methods are for the clowns at Meremere |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Engineers don't read, engineers calculate! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | If you want to understand humans, go study Psychology |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | or Arts, or Education |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | where you write a poem and they give you a PhD |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I should have noticed when you came talking about |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | non-structured interviews and shit |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My advisor, interpretativism is a valid me- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | A valid method to write comic books! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My advisor, there are good venues to submit |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Good venues for my peers to make fun at me |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They'll say I grew soft! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | When my colleagues at IEEE find out |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | where my students are sending their works to |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | they'll think I'm letting you make decisions by yourselves |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And they'll ask how was my weekend and if I'm having fun |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and they'll send me pictures of their pets and ask if I prefer dogs or cats |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And I'll tell them to fuck off and to leave me alone |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and they'll say it's because my ascendant is in Taurus |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | For years I was considered a hard worker |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The advisor feared by students, the most rigorous |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Who could lock you in a room to finish work |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But I was wrong, so wrong. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Wrong to think my students were just "trying a new method" |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | as if there was a new statistic model I didn't know about |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | when they were actually considering |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | human feelings in their research! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I was stabbed in the back by my own students! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, we can still submit to IEEE in Ethiopia |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe I am just old-fashioned |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Believing I could just encourage you to do a good work |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | or throw you from a cliff |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | But now the damage is done |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | and you need to publish your work somewhere. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | So go print a Supervisor Change Form |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and I'll send you all to Fabian |
