| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, I've created the portfolio of resident dictations. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Xiao properly used lymphoma instead of lymphoproliferative disorder |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Adam properly said "the mass grew from 2 cm to 5 cm" |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | instead of "the mass measures 5 cm, previously 2 cm" |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Aaron properly used your templates. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent work. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I've done my job well.. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... I haven't mentioned Megan's report. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ... she... she said... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ... she said the mass is causing edema... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ... resulting in midline shift... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who isn't a member of the education committee, please leave the room... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How is this possible?!?? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Haven't I taught them not to use gerunds!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Haven't I taught them what is good and right in this world?? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | No gerunds! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Empty power point slides! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Slides with a max of 3 words! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Huge arrows! Comically large font sizes! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Images expanded to 1000% so you can see every pixel! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, it's not too late to remediate the class... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Game over! It's too late! I've lost them... |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we can still create more tests, workshops, and homework... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It's too late! There's only a few weeks left before they graduate! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | A Baylor report with a gerund on it?!?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | An embarrassment! A stain on our residency! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | What if UT finds out we're using gerunds?!? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It'll be over for us as a residency program!! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Then what would I do without a residency program to run?? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I'd have nothing to do with all that time! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | There's only so much traveling and happy hour-ing I can do! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I'm out of countries to visit... I've visited them all! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This residency needs me... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The residents need me to be their beacon! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Their salvation from this gerund filled world! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Maybe it's not too late... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I will create a series of youtube videos called "Learning to speak Dr. Diaz" |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | It will be glorious.. with these videos, the spirit of Dr. Diaz will be with them forever! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We can give it to incoming residents! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ... and rotating med students! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We can make another TBL! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | ... It'll be ok. The schedule won't support another TBL... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | ... who am I kidding.. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I'm fighting a losing battle... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | .. maybe I'll start using gerunds. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The stress from this job is causing me anxiety... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | There I did it... after all these years... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I used a gerund... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | ... I feel so dirty... |
