| 00:00 - 00:03 | The ungrateful unions have rejected your benevolent offer Herr Little |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | In Clydebank and Paisley, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | lecturers are preparing to march on George Square |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The Hokey Cokey is being heard and we fear |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | the rebels may already have taken Easterhouse and Cardonald |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Up the offer. Curly Wurly, king size |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and a signed photo of me |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Herr Little |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the lecturers |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the lecturers will reject this generous gift and insist you |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | must #honourthedeal |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Get out if you didn't buy your degree in cash, on eBay or both |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This lot will be the fucking end of me! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | National bargaining my hairy arse |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Whining, complaining, playing their plastic trumpets outside my temple |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I couldn't even finish my breakfast langoustine |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I'll show them who's the big man |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Me! Little! Harvard alumnus! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I'll scrap the lot of them and replace them with distance learning, a moodle |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and self-fucking-service student checkouts! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Herr Little that plan isn't ready yet. Our moodles are as much use as a chocolate fireguard |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Wheesht! What am I supposed to tell Donald Findlay at Peebles Hydro next Thursday? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Herr Little their demands are in line with public sector pay rises |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I'd shit on my yacht before I give those layabouts another penny |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | of MY fucking money! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I built this temple and I can destroy it, I Little! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | One of the finest minds in education |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It even says so on my Linkedin |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Have you ever read my principal's briefing? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | It's Shakespeare on steroids, poety fu-cking poetry for free |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Pure golden unadulterated genius |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The EIS can stick the deal where the SQA doesn't shine. Fuck it! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I scrimp to get by on £157K a year |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Me, a visionary academic who reshaped |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | 5 colleges single-handed |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck me |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | When I made that deal I didn't know how much it would cost |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | to put marble taps in the executive jacuzzi |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Donald's contractors are fucking bandits! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | An £800,000 observation scheme |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | is DEFINITELY a great way to save money! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok hen, he's used the pensions funds instead |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Get some fake news out to the BBC today |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I thought our great Maggie had crushed the unions |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | but no... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | If they win, we're finished |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | No champagne receptions or overseas consultancies. The gravy train will be over. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and we'll have to do some work |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | A complete fucking disaster |
