| 00:00 - 00:03 | Climate change is moving towards us at high speed |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | if we do not act soon |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | global warming will alter our land |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | if we gain only a few more degrees |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | most of our biodiversity will not survive |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yeah ok I get it |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | climate change is a thing |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we need to |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | we need to ban plastic straws and drink with our mouths now |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | with our mouths directly on the glass |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those who do not care for straws in their iced frapuccino please leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The cold coffee gives me brain freeze |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I need a straw to temper the intensity of the cold rush |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | What's next, no plastic bags? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They want us to go to the groceries |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | and put our cereal in Mason jars |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Those jars are heavy and I keep on loosing the lids |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Or maybe I'll just stop eating meat like those hippies |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Eat tofu and other plant based alternatives |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Actually yes that would be a great way to have impact |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Did you ever eat tempeh Philip? Tastes like foot |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Reducing meat intake reduces our carbon footprint |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh well maybe I'll ride my bike to the vegan market then, Philip |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Honestly who eats fermented soy |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Plus my bike has a flat tire again |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and I don't know how to change it without hurting my fingers |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | the air chamber is stuck between the tire and the rim |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And don't get me started on those hybrid cars |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | as long as coal is our main power source hybrids are no better |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How am I supposed to drive to work |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | if I need to use oil or coal to power my car |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I spoke to my financial adviser last week |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | about moving my money to clean energy investments |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Made me feel really cool to be so proactive |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But most of the plastic that kills ocean life |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | is washed into the ocean from just 10 river systems |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And yet they want to take away my straw |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The biggest carrier of plastic to the ocean is a river in Asia |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | because population density is high and waste management not ideal |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I think my eco-anxiety level is high now |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok he was ranting about women's rights last week |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I get that I need to change my ways |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | that having cumulated so many Frequent Flyer miles is not cool |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But I wish |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | that policy makers and industry |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | would get their sh*t together by moving us towards green technology |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and remove the burden from us citizens |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | so I don't need to buy tempeh |
