| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Jussie Smollett story blew up in our faces after one day |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Republicans kept the Senate |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Nathan Philips turned out to be a fake Vietnam veteran |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ISIS has been destroyed and the Wall is being built with public support |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And Brett Kavanaugh is one pissed-off Supreme Court judge |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | None of this matters. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Just have the articles of impeachment ready for Muellers report. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Madam Clinton |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Muellers |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Muellers report says he didnt find Jack shit. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We really took it in the ass on this one. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except Schiff, Nadler, Schumer, and Mad Maxine. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Didnt find shit?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why the hell didnt he make something up? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The entire American media lied for two solid years and everyone believed them |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And Mueller couldnt make up one more lie? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I was supposed to be president and in a war with Russia by now! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | At least with North Korea or Iran! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Ive spent my entire adult life lying, cheating, and stealing to become president. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Putting up with that big doofus Bill and his skanky girlfriends. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Hillary, Trumps no pushover like Bernie. Everyone knows wed try and lie |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | What happened to the Deep State? They suicided Vince Foster for me, but now they cant even shoot Roger Stone? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Madam Clinton, everyone knows Russian dossier was fake. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't give me that crap! We had every intel agency spying on Trump |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Just make it up! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Our useful idiots believe whatever CNN tells them to believe |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and the Deep State controls them! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We can steal the next election! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | The Kenyan got away with Fast and Furious, Benghazi, using the IRS to attack the Tea Party, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | sending $150 billion on pallets to Iran, and running weapons from Libya to ISIS in Syria |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | but Mueller cant make up one more bullshit lie about Trump? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Obama got away with blaming Benghazi on a YouTube video, so why is this so fucking hard? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But now everything is going to get exposed! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | All the billions laundered through the Clinton Foundation; everything Ive stolen fair and square. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and Im gonna be found on the street at 4am |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | with four bullet holes in my back |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | in a robbery gone wrong like Seth Rich |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | because I know too much! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | All the lying, cheating, and stealing. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | All the bodies. For what? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Even George Stephanopolis won't return my phone calls. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, Huma. I'm sure MSNBC will hire you. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Soros will dump me for Ocasio-Cortez. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The Deep State will come for me like mafia loan sharks looking for their money. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'm so screwed. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I need adrenochrome now. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Well, where I'm going, at least I can shower with other women, I guess. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Tell Trump I'll squeal like Songbird McCain |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | if he promises not to hang me. |
