| 00:00 - 00:03 | So the plan for today is quite simple |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Tee off at nine on from the red tee box |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Before heading East from here to the yellow tee box |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Play the final 9 holes before heading West to the clubhouse |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | To indulge in some beers and review our scores cards |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | A well fought threeball between myself, you and Ben |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I very much look forward to it |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Noncer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Ben |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Ben has not checked his Whatsapp since 16.36 yesterday |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | His brother Bobby says he did not return home last night |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone that believes Steve is the most hung member of the group, please leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Benjamin fucking Macey |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | That unreliable fucking drunk |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Another weekend of golf missed because of you stupid wankers |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It will happen no more |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | No more will I be insulted this way |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | "Bradley book this, Bradley book that" |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I would rather drive to Weymouth and back all day |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Than waste another golf minute on you uncultured swines |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Noncer, Mitchell Hayes is available and has learnt to count |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Mitchell Hayes? The same man that birdied a hole in one! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Noncer, it was an easy mistake to make |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Everything is an easy mistake to a neanderthal like you |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | All of you |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Why can I not play one game of golf |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Without one of you royally fucking up my whole weekend |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You useless bunch of fucking peasants! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | This is why I moved to Woking away from this shit |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Where is Marc and Steve when you need them instead of Ben and Mike |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | At least they know they are shit, but are reliably shit |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I would tear your ACL's out of your leg with my teeth to give to Steve if i could |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Why do you do these things to me Mike? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You were my best man at my wedding, MY BEST MAN |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And you can't move a lamp post from A to B |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | As god is my witness |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I will teach Jamie to golf to replace you intolerable cretins |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | At least he might give me some PT tips or ways to eat better |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Failing that improve my social media following |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Even if the pictures are from six years ago |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | At least he fucking tries |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | "Don't worry he fooled me on instagram too" |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | How has it come to this |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Did the one round I bought in Spain mean nothing to you? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I guess not |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The golf group has fallen |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We had a good run though, at least I bow out a champion |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | The Longrod Vanhugendong Champion |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | That son of a bitch |
