Fuhrer, The Ming Inn is opening a new bar in Berlin
You've been invited to the grand opening
It is in the south of Berlin, here where my finger is
Daz has planned another summer extravaganza, with croquet
He wants you to join him and Pete with drinking fun
Oh shit, you have to be joking
I'm not going, you can fuck off
Boss, you have to...
Steve will also be there
Paul will be taking some vodka
He wants you to join him in vodka shots
If you've not been to The Ming Inn, get out now
The last time I drank vodka with Paul
I had a hangover for 5 days
...and Pete drinks like a fucking lunatic
Remember the fucking cowboy night,
he couldn't even put on his boots to leave
But that's nothing
He drinks and falls into bushes
I tried to drink wine with the ladies
But Boss, the ladies drink more...
I fucking know that now you idiot
Boss, why did you try to drink wine with Anna
Because I can't keep up with the blokes you twat
New Years Eve was horrific
I was pissed until Easter
I went dressed as a bunny rabbit, and puked everywhere
I was so drunk I shat on my bunny tail
They laughed at me cos I can't drink for shit
But they just kept drinking more and more and more
You fucking idiots were no help, you fell into the fish pond...
...and you just cuddled the fucking tree
I can't go, tell them I have a haircut booked...
...or tell them I'll drink orange juice...
...cos I'm training for Tough Mudder
I thought the fucking quiz night...
..would be better and I'd win
But I couldn't answer cos I was shit faced again
Between questions we drank more...
I've never even heard of "shaddup your fuckin' face"
It was embarassing
Don't worry, he didn't see you at poetry night
I tried to write a nice poem,
so they'd be my friends
But Steve is a poetry genius
He wrote a hysterical one...
...which made mine look shit
...other people wrote them on the spot
I spent fucking days writing mine