| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer, there is a lot of cray to report on from around Berlin. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It's as if a Zeppelin from Florida arrived this morning. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | In Bergmannkiez a naked man was found with a pillow case full of ducks. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Over in Wrangelkiez an American high on Ambien was caught shoplifting tampons. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And finally in Helmholtzkiez a woman wearing transparent pants with asymmetric legs was arrested claiming she was Gritty. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Very good. Very good. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Type this up and I'll post to Florida Cray Cray Weekly. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Your request... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Your request to join FCCW has been denied. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They have a strict "No Nazis" policy. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Operation Blank Penny. Stay. The rest of you go to Waffle House. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is an outcrayge! An outcrayge! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This is discrimination! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Can't a nice guy like me just share a little cray? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I've spent years being the source of cray! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The "Lebensborn" Nazi baby factory, remember that? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Or my plan to kidnap Pope Pius XXII? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I'll bet it was Martin! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | He never saw things my way! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer! Why don't you just join Florida Man? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Join Florida Man? It's just silly memes! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But there's plenty of cray there! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | But there's no witty discussion! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Plus Martin would just cock block me there too! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What kind of name is Zuckerberg anyway? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Maybe he has something to do this? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Social media is a right! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We'll see them all in court. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They'll rule against me! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But the Supreme Court will give me a fair shake! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Then we'll see who has the most cray! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I know a guy in Dresden who ate his own dick. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And a woman in Hamburg who decorates for Christmas |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | With her used feminine products. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Even Joe can't match that level of cray! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Plus no one can pronounce he friggin' last name! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And those two from Pittsburgh need to get a room! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | It's their loss. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It's their loss if I cannot share my cray! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | They will say "Hey, we should have been nicer to Adolf!" |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He does have the best cray. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I have my own Indian River County smock of shame. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I bought it on eBay! |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I wanted to share it with FCCW. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Now I can't. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Someone get my phone. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll sign up for Reddit. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | They'll appreciate me there. |
