| 00:00 - 00:03 | Reports are coming in |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | of Haigh arriving |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and trying to make his way to the stadium |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He's travelling under an alias |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | of Martin O'Haigh |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Double the ring of steel to check |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | any plastic paddys' passports |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Füller |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | He's |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | wearing a disguise and has snuck pass the ring of steel |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | dressed as Lionel Vinyl |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Greg Clarke, Adam Crozier, Martin Glenn, Greg Dyke stay |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | YOU FUCKING FUCKWITS |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HE'S NEAR THE STADIUM |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | DRESSED AS A 70'S CLOWN |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | WITH THE LUCK OF THE IRISH |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | HIS NEW HOME COUNTRY |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | YOU LOT COULDN'T KICK A TYRE DOWN HILL |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | TRUMP BANNED HIM FROM THE WHOLE OF THE US |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND THE WANNABE LEAD SINGER OF THE CORRS HASN'T BEEN BACK |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | HIS EBITDA IS GOLD |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | GOLDEN PISS - YELLOW BEROCCA |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | YOU BOTH EXPERIENCED LOSSES IN RUSSIA |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I KNEW WHEN I WAS BEATEN |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | CALL THE GAME OFF |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | HOW DOES ANY TEAM |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | STAND A CHANCE |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | IF HE PICKS ONE TO SUPPORT? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BEARS |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | LAST KICK OF THE GAME |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | AND THE KICKER HITS THE POST |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | THE FUCKING POST BECAUSE MAC HAIGH WAS IN THE CROWD |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | ALL I ASKED FOR |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | THAT HE NOT DESTROY ENGLAND'S CHANCES |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | AT THE WC SO I COULD BE FRIENDS WITH CHURCHILL |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | HE DRIVES A JAG |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | THE CAR THAT ALAN PARTRIDGE REFUSED TO DRIVE |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | IT HAS A BRIEFCASE HOLDER IN THE BOOT |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | MIDDLE CLASS TWATERY |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | HE BETRAYED HIS COUNTRY AND GOT AN |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | IRISH PASSPORT AS HE BLINKED DURING BREXIT |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | AFTER HE SAW YOU DID HE TELL YOU TOO THAT HIS PENIS WAS DUBLIN |
| 03:13 - 03:14 | It's unimaginable that you would |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | travel to Russia three times |
| 03:15 - 03:17 | and witness three loses |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | P3 W0 L3 |
| 03:21 - 03:22 | he's cursed |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | well and |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | truly cursed |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | how much does he want? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | To cancel his Sky Sports package |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and forgot about sport |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | for the good of the human race |
