| 00:00 - 00:05 | Do you know about the curse of the Haigh? |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Come on you must know? |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | How one guy ruined England's World Cup |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | He's a die-hard supporter, been to countless games and spent myriad nights in the cells |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | But... he's never seen them win |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Never |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Ever |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | He went three times to Russia and they lost all three times |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | P3 W0 D0 L3 |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | The only time England won was when he was sat at home on his sofa |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | or not watching the game |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | After England won two group games he flew out for the third |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | THEY LOST!!! |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | Flew out for the semi-final |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | THEY LOST!!! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | Flew out for the third place match |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | THEY LOST!!! |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | What a joke |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | His EBITDA was dark green |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | The FA have de-listed him as an official supporter |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | The FA now keep |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | the kick-off time secret from him |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | ha ha... But let's get serious |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | He loves another type of football |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | The American type |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | Did the curse spread there? |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | oh course it fucking did |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | In fact it's all sports |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | No team is safe, none |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | So |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | let me |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | tell you |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | how he traveled to the US |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | to watch his team play |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | in the Superbowl wild-card game |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | And they lost? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Last fucking kick of the game |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | Last second, kick over the post |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | to win the game |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | Cody Parkey taking the kick, looks into the crowd |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Sees Martin? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Yes and thinks 'Not a chance' |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Takes the kick and hits the post |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Dark days for the Haigh |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | So now he's banned by the Bears |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | For life... |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Trump mentioned banning him from the country in his State of the Union and everyone stood up and clapped |
