| 00:00 - 00:03 | Coach Harbaugh, we have come up with a plan to finally beat Ohio State. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It involved a lot of secret planning, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | but we think it is fool proof. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We will start by making sure our defense |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | does not give up over 60 points yet again. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I'm assuming Coach Mattison |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | has given his input? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Coach Harbaugh... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Coach Mattison... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Has left the team. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And is now Defensive Coordinator at OSU. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who thinks we will lose to OSU next year, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How the hell did we lose Mattison?!?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He's 70 years old for Crisler's sakes! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Is this what I deserve for taking the team on a European vacation instead of actually practicing football? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Is it because Winovich gets hairstyle tips from our secretaries? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I told them to stop blow drying it for him! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But you guys all encouraged him, |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and allowed him to start a stupid "Revenge Tour" |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | like he is in a boy band! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Coach Harbaugh, the Revenge Tour was successful until... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Until OSU almost scored 70 points on us. Thank Bo they took a knee at the five yard line. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Coach Harbaugh, Dwayne Haskins was very accurate that game. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's because that idiot Don Brown was blitzing every play and leaving our cornerbacks on islands. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You would think just once, we would play zone and try to slow them down. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | But no, it was blitz blitz blitz, until our guys were winded. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Then Parris Campbell torches us on a two foot pass |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Running by our whole team while Rashan Gary was busy looking at a pizza in the crowd. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And don't get me started about Special Teams. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We gave up a punt block to a true freshman, while another freshman returned it for a touchdown. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Then we turned the ball over |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Allowing even more Buckeyes to score on us like we were Rutgers. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I know we are not Rutgers. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We are Michigan Men. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | WIth a great history of winning games in the late 1800's. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | in order to win the big game. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'm done being embarrassed. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'm thinking it was a bad idea to wear a uniform sponsored by a basketball player. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Especially one who didn't even go to Michigan. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We've let OSU have their way with us for too long. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Even their cheerleaders are prettier than ours. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK. You tried your hardest. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm thinking we can make one significant change. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We need to promote our best up and coming coach. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Someone who is a strong recruiter. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I think it should be Al Washington. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | With Washington leading our defense, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We will recruit well, |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and finally have our players motivated, |
