| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer, it is currently 5:30 |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | So the Vanderbilt results have just been released |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It would appear that none |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Of the boys got in, and this admissions class was especially large and qualified |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We will review our options and work on other schools |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I'm assuming that that Northfield whore did not get in either |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | She talks retarded |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sloane Stuart |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sloane Stuart has announced Fallon got into Vandy |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We are not sure how |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who did not ED somewhere please leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET IN |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This is bullshit |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How the hell did she get it? She talks like she's fucking retarded |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | She hasn't taken a challenging class in her entire life |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Just because she's gay she gets in |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Why am I punished for being a straight white male |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Next time I'm putting my ethnicity as native american |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | My sexuality as unbearable gay, and my religion as MUSLIM |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer she has excellent extracurriculars |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | So do I |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, there were other unqualified people that got in |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Carly Lewin is dumber than a fucking brick |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Patrick Tolan is a homo |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Charlie Cohen was the only one that deserved it |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He had good grades |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | At least one straight white guy got in |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | This admissions process is fucked |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Fucking affirmative action is screwing us all over |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How am I supposed to compete with these SJWs |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Maybe next time I should just take fucking IGSS for 4 years |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Same thing with Northwestern |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | None of the boys got in their either |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Absolute bullshit |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | 1 for 4, 1 for FUCKING 4 |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | How did we all fail and the girls all get in |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | They're gonna rub it in our faces ALL WEEKEND |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Hamill with her damn Dartmouth |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Naomi somehow getting into Northwestern |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | This is the only time I've ever wanted to be a woman |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, the boys always bounce back |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | God dammit dude |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | What's the point |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'm going to MSU |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The partys there will be great |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And there are plenty of hot chicks |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I will have lots of fun |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And get a mediocre college degree |
