| 00:00 - 00:03 | Fantasy Football commissioner Goodell |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Its time for the playoffs |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We have decided who are in the top four |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The records of the season are being calculated |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and Keith is in 1st place |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes of course hes in first |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He does his fuckin research |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Roger Goodell |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It seems... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Usurper is in top 4 |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We don't understand how |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone besides Keith, G, and myself...get the fuck out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How the fuck did this happen |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He drafted like absolute shit |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Now he really thinks he's the shit |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Who drafts Phillip Rivers in the 2nd round |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Arjun's team is 10x better than his |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Look at his points for vs against |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You fuckers let the biggest shittalker |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Make us look like idiots |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, Jordan and Dakota have been feeding him wins |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Shut the fuck up, you scrub |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We thought Seal Team 69 was worthy |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Without Gurley he's absolute shit |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Look at his other RB's |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We thought Goff Syrup could |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | have a Cinderella season |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But he drafted David Johnson 1st |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And Devonta Freeman did nothing for him |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Vegas Steve didnt even do the punishment |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Which undermines our entire goddamn league |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Who the fuck uses the word Usurper anyways |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Probably some old man language |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I want our league to mean something |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Nobody makes trades |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And Im the only one |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | who wants to play fantasty basketball |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You bitches dont want to play |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I have so much basketball knowledge |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I can name where every player went to elementary school |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You literally had 1 job |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its almost over, Steve |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess this is it then |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Keith you better win |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We may have to cheat |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | He can't win |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I might drop Aaron Jones |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or DeAndre Hopkins |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | What a fag |
