| 00:01 - 00:07 | Comrades, Academicals, St George's rehabs, Mr Bonnyman |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | Glorious news reaches us from the far corners of the once-forgotten empire |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | Thanks to the Supreme Leader's officially ordained age-defying diet |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | and lifestyle, a new cadre |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | of super-humans is living into a new period |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | of strength, virility, Olympian achievement and champagne chat. |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | Only today, one-time telephone engineer, imperialist gun-runner and discredited |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | Aristocrat of Luxembourg |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | - T. Hunter Duff - |
| 00:41 - 00:42 | reaches an unparalleled |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | landmark of decrepitude through his humble acceptance |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | of the rigourous regime of clean living, dead |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | small birds, Bolshevik golf and purist Dutch cuisine. Let us rejoice! |
