| 00:00 - 00:05 | I'm asleep in bed and there's a knock at my door |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Hurry up, he said, we're going to be late |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Leave me alone, I'm still half asleep |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | Why are you waking me up on Saturday morning, I'm staying here in my nice warm bed |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | We're going to run 5k around Bramley park |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Loonies |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | They're all mad |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | He said it's the best way to start your weekend |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Madness |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | So we go to Bramley park, it's freezing and I'm trying to keep warm |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | the rain is lashing down and it's blowing a gale |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | You'll love it, he said |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | My hands were numb |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | My ears were frozen solid |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | I almost had frostbite |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | and he's there in shorts and a t shirt |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | It's true |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | And then more runners turned up |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | and they were dressed the same |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | I've never seen so many crazy people in one place, loonies, all of them |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | some of them even had dogs |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | and had to use a short lead |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Then the RD started to speak |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | Welcoming the runners to Bramley, announcing milestones |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | and asked if we remembered our barcodes |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | I don't have a barcode |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | and then he said go |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | The ones at the front shot off like greyhounds |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | I was like, What the fxxk, it's not a race he said, go as slow as you want |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | It's true |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | and then, and then |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | I'm dying |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | You won't believe it |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | We had to run up a hill to start |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | It was like Mt Everest, they said it's not a hill, it's an upward flat |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | Is that true |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Yes it's true |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | and after I did one lap |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | they said you have to do three more |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | I don't know how I survived |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Will you do it again |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | I might do, they said there was cake at the finish |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | But the buggers had eaten it all by the time I finished |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Greedy Ba@#ards |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Do you fancy having a go |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | You'll love it, that's what they told me |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Next week I'm locking the doors and staying in bed |
