| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've been tracking Santa on the NASA site |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Kids have reported receiving presents, all over the place |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and sleigh bells have been heard here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | it won't be too long now before he gets here |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | he should reach us after he goes here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I can't fucking wait! |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | all year I've been waiting for my Xbox |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sorry Boss |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I've got to say it |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The allies say Santa Claus doesn't really exist. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The prezzies come from your Mum and dad |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who doesn't believe in father christmas get out now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Of course Santa fucking exists |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | whose fucking knee do they think I was sitting on |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | last Saturday in Debenhams |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Of course it was Santa |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Who the fuck did they think it was? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Jimmy fucking Savile? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | It was Santa I tell you, I know I was fucking there |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Boss maybe you were mistaken? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | No no no!!! it was Santa I tell you , big white beard, Red suit and said Ho Ho Ho a lot |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But boss he could have been an actor |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Never , I'd know Santa anywhere, I've seen him every year for the last 30 years it was him |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He brought me my bike last year |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The year before, my Lego set |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Exactly what I asked for sat on his knee |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Of course it was Santa |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | you lot are taking the piss |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I know he is real, every year I leave out a glass of milk |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and a biscuit for him |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | and carrot for Rudolph and every year it's gone in the morning |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | who the fuck do you think has those? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Not the fucking tooth fairy, that's for sure |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | She came last month when one of my toofers was knocked out |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | By that fat twat Goering |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | All year long he's been working with his elves |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Working away at the North pole, slaving day and night |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Making toys for us |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | The boys who haven't been naughty |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Well not very naughty |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna,poland doesn't count. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And now, you try to tell me he's not real, doesn't exist |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Shatter all my dreams and illusions |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I don't care ........... much |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Nothing. Will change. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'll leave out the Milk and biscuits again for him |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and the carrot for Rudolph, and I know he'll come to my house |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | If not we'll Invade the North Pole |
