00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, all of the cereal companies in the world have chosen to side with you |
00:04 - 00:05 | They pledge to have all the cereal in their reserves in Berlin by tomorrow |
00:05 - 00:07 | We have granted them access through here and here |
00:08 - 00:12 | However, there have been rumours spread by the Allies that you pour your milk first |
00:12 - 00:15 | we are certain that this is not the case. What kind of monster would ever do that |
00:17 - 00:19 | Of course I pour my milk first. |
00:19 - 00:21 | YOLO |
00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
00:27 - 00:28 | The... |
00:31 - 00:33 | The second word of this gets out, Kellogs is sure to abandon ship |
00:34 - 00:36 | No one pours milk first, sir. Think of the cows. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who pours their cereal first except for my generals, get the fuck out |
01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? |
01:15 - 01:17 | WHO FUCKING LET THIS GET OUT? |
01:18 - 01:23 | FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES! I'LL POUR MY MILK FIRST TILL THE DAY I DIE |
01:25 - 01:28 | Especially on the day we win this war! |
01:29 - 01:31 | NOM NOM MILK NOM |
01:31 - 01:34 | THE ONLY REASON I POUR CEREAL IN AT ALL IS BECAUSE I'M NOT A CAT |
01:34 - 01:37 | I MEAN LIKE COME THE FUCK ON |
01:37 - 01:40 | I DO IT SO I CAN MEASURE OUT AN EXACT AMOUNT OF CEREAL! |
01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we all know that that's a load of bullshit |
01:42 - 01:46 | FINE I FUCKING ADMIT IT NO ONE EVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO IT RIGHT |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, just watch a Fruit Loops commercial, it's quite simple |
01:48 - 01:52 | FUCK TOUCAN SAM!!!!! |
01:53 - 01:54 | AND FUCK SNAP CRACKLE AND POP |
01:56 - 01:57 | And what's this complete breakfast shit? |
01:57 - 02:00 | You expect me to eat a whole fucking orange with my cereal? |
02:00 - 02:03 | A cereal I don't even know what order to pour in? |
02:04 - 02:08 | No wonder I could never build model planes properly |
02:08 - 02:13 | I'D ALWAYS READ THE BOOK BACKWARDS! |
02:14 - 02:16 | THE INSTRUCTIONS ALWAYS SHOWED A PLANE DISASSEMBLING ITSELF |
02:17 - 02:21 | It's two easy steps but I never got taught how to fucking do it! I bet Stalin doesn't have this fucking problem! |
02:27 - 02:29 | And since we're on the topic of doing things wrong: |
02:30 - 02:34 | I still shit myself sometimes |
02:34 - 02:36 | I'm just pouring my milk first and then blam, shit in my pants |
02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck all of this |
02:43 - 02:47 | The man with the time box told me in the future people still make this mistake! So why the fuck would I stop myself???!!!? |
02:48 - 02:53 | I can't sleep at night because of this bullshit!!! |
02:54 - 02:56 | For all of you, it's so easy |
02:56 - 02:59 | I want to do it the right way but it's like I just can't! |
03:00 - 03:02 | Fuck it, I'm forcing the world to do it my way the second Germany wins! Fuck y'all! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Jenny. He's not that crazy. |
03:14 - 03:16 | Without Kellogs' support we're fucked. |
03:19 - 03:23 | We might even lose this damn war now. |
03:25 - 03:26 | I can't fucking believe it |
03:31 - 03:33 | Fucking cereal |
03:40 - 03:46 | Somebody find me some cereal commercials to watch |
03:46 - 03:49 | I can still shit myself, but at least I won't seem like a total idiot on the world stage. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Fuck Toucan Sam. |