| 00:00 - 00:03 | Dan Blankenship has just farted |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The smell is very noticebale |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Here, here, and here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We fear it may have been more than a fart. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Perhaps he had too many bean burritos. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Dan has always had a problem with gas. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I hope his underwear is okay. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Uh.. Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | He..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sharted and got poop all over the couch. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We can't seem to get the smell or stain out. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who has ever sharted leave the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fricking kidding me? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Poop all over the couch? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I take naps on that thing! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And you can't get the smell out? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Watching Matlock with a side of crap. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Eating popcorn with the smell of poo all around me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | How can I ever sit on that couch again? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Let alone get a nice afternoon nap. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, I am sure we can get a couch cover |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | A freaking couch cover? Are you kidding me? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Maybe a little Fabreeze will help |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Fabreeze? You will have to torch the couch to get rid of the smell |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The couch is toast! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And I have lost |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | my favorite resting place in the whole wide world. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I spent weeks searching for a couch |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | trying to find the right softness and support. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I even went to IKEA and its insufferable labrynth. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Just to find that couch. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Dan's nasty ass has ruined it all. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Why couldn't he fart the in the bathroom |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I would take a nap right now if I could |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | What am I supposed to do now? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I should have known |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and put plastic wrap on the couch |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or made him put on some Depends |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But it's too late now. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | My world is now just full of shit. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Literally! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, he didn't get poop on the love seat. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can now smell the couch from here. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | My nostrils will never be the same. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Screw me. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Let Dan have the couch. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe he won't notice his own smell. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Let him poop on the cushions if he wants. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I just don't care any more. |
