00:01 - 00:04We believe you've threatened to sell your story about breaking susan boyles VL
00:04 - 00:08One night in the gorbals
00:08 - 00:11First of all, i only nipped her ootside the pavillion
00:12 - 00:15her cat pebbles got jealous and sucker punched me
00:15 - 00:17i've done nowt wrang but kiss a toad in a communion dress
00:17 - 00:18nae need for the bravado
00:18 - 00:20Wit wummin brings a cat tae a elvis tribute?
00:21 - 00:22a fuckin bint
00:22 - 00:27and then expects ye tae shave her back..that's a no no!
00:28 - 00:30shave her back?
00:30 - 00:32sounds like a horrible ordeal!
00:33 - 00:34are you coping?
00:35 - 00:37you ever tried
00:37 - 00:40goin tae town on a silver back pal?
00:40 - 00:43needed mare than a gilette and a hedge trimmer
00:43 - 00:45tae get oot of that jungle
00:45 - 00:47jeremy kyle husnae got a look in
00:47 - 00:54good luck with yer counselling