| 00:00 - 00:03 | Gentleman the 2018 Grand Final is almost here... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Richmond finished first and flogged the Hawks... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to secure a home Preliminary Final at the MCG. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The Pies beat the Giants to secure the all Melbourne Preliminary Final... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and it was a packed MCG with over 94,000 people. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I predicted it from the beginning! |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Dusty was sensation, I assume? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Dusty ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Dusty had 19 disposals. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Pies beat us by 39 points. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room Collingwood Players. Dusty, Rance and Nankervis stay. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Collingwood BEAT THE TIGERS! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | THE PIES BEAT THE REIGNING PREMIERS! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You have not lost at the MCG in 22 games... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and you beat the Pies twice this year. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You were the clear favourite. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | This is absolutely disastrous. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I already purchased my Grand Final Tickets... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and bet on a back-to-back Premiership. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, sell them to Collingwood suppers at 200% the price. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Sell them? Why would I sell them? They cost me more than the life of Collingwood fan. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they will pay anything. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | They do not deserve a crowd, with Jimmy Barnes; the MCG will be empty. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | At least Gardening Australia will be more entertaining. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You see you have a week off, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | then you go from fierce tigers... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | to soft plush-toys for puppy dogs. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I bet you were too busy watching last year's highlights. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | to even train, did you even get out of bed at all Dusty? Did you even touch a Sherrin? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You see you cannot win a Grand Final with no commitment. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You should have listened to Clarko's wisdom, he has been there before. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They went back-to-back-to-back... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | and you guys cannot even get into a second Grand Final. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | What even was the point of the year? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Finish first and miss the Grand Final! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | You paid out Adelaide last year for choking on the big stage, on the last Saturday of September. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | At least they made it to the Grand Final, something you boys failed to EVEN qualify for. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Next thing you will go to a Collective Mind Camp... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and then fail to make the top 8 in 2019; |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | then we will be flagless for another 37 years. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | At least our membership will be cheaper next year. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Who are they even playing? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | What Bandwagon are we even meant to jump on? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | None? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That prick McGuire. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | First he hates the AFL and their choices, then he is Mclaughlin's best friend. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I bet even paid off Brett Rosebury. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | 2054 will be our year. |
