00:00 - 00:03 | And the moment we've all been waiting for |
00:04 - 00:05 | The Griffith branded soap dispensers |
00:05 - 00:07 | have been installed here and here |
00:08 - 00:12 | So even when us students shit we'll be reminded |
00:12 - 00:15 | we don't go to a sandstone uni |
00:17 - 00:19 | Well we may not be UQ but |
00:19 - 00:21 | our smaller cohort means theme leads know us by name |
00:24 - 00:26 | Actually |
00:27 - 00:28 | Unlikely |
00:31 - 00:33 | Every theme lead has been replaced, |
00:34 - 00:36 | it seems to happen every year |
00:53 - 00:58 | If you skipped every lecture except Dissa's, leave now |
01:13 - 01:15 | So that's why no one's responded to my emails |
01:15 - 01:17 | I get more attention from Translink |
01:18 - 01:23 | And that's just to tell me my GO card has "expired" |
01:25 - 01:28 | This better not mean the exams will change |
01:29 - 01:31 | I've memorised every MCQ since 2012 |
01:31 - 01:34 | Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers have longer tenure |
01:34 - 01:37 | How do I get a letter of recommendation now? |
01:37 - 01:40 | Lecturers leave faster than students from a DHC symposium |
01:40 - 01:42 | At least Ken Donald's still here |
01:42 - 01:46 | I don't want my letter to be 40 fucking pages |
01:46 - 01:48 | But he was a wallaby! |
01:48 - 01:52 | I KNOW! It's the only thing I've learnt that wasn't self directed |
01:53 - 01:54 | GUBERNACULUM! |
01:56 - 01:57 | Even exam marking is self directed |
01:57 - 02:00 | The only thing i've gotten out of |
02:00 - 02:03 | a paper viewing session is PTSD |
02:04 - 02:08 | And don't even get me started on the post-mortems |
02:08 - 02:13 | They go for half an hour and don't even get through half a question but we always end up |
02:14 - 02:16 | discussing FLUID BALANCE! |
02:17 - 02:21 | How about they learn to balance a timetable properly? 8 hours, no breaks! |
02:27 - 02:29 | 10 grand a year |
02:30 - 02:34 | to read pirated PDFs. I sat the GAMSAT for this |
02:34 - 02:36 | to repeat the same LO about risk factors |
02:41 - 02:42 | "Risk factors" |
02:43 - 02:47 | Well you know what I think? This degree is a risk factor for homicidal tendencies |
02:48 - 02:53 | At least then some people in our cohort might get to see a fucking autopsy |
02:54 - 02:56 | And what is the damn point of case wraps? |
02:56 - 02:59 | If I wanted to hear a specialist brag about their job |
03:00 - 03:02 | I'd go talk to a UQ student's parents |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, we're not as bad as Bond |
03:14 - 03:16 | I just want a lecture with assessable content |
03:19 - 03:23 | Preferably before the corresponding PBL case |
03:25 - 03:26 | Facilitators don't help |
03:31 - 03:33 | Just the blind leading the blind |
03:40 - 03:46 | Trying to get a sense of guidance from the medical school |
03:46 - 03:49 | is like trying to locate the JVP |
03:53 - 03:56 | It doesn't exist. |